Bedazzled

There is a myriad of unhealthy things that Hollywood is obsessed with*, but none tend to be more annoying as their fixation on re-makes**. “Bedazzled” is a re-make of the 1967 film of the same name that starred everyone's favorite alcoholic, Dudley Moore. It's also known as the film that the book “Good Omens” stole from. Anyway, if you saw the original, from the looks of the trailer, you're getting same movie in the re-make, except you'll see Elizabeth Hurley dressed in outfits that fulfill a majority of male fantasies***.

The trailer starts out as expected by introducing the movie's main character and his predicament. In this case, it appears that geeky and shy cubicle worker Brandon Fraser**** lusts after a female co-worker from afar*****. He somehow manages to gain enough courage to talk to her at a bar, but his sad attempts to "git wit her" fail******. When Fraser makes the innocuous comment that he'd give anything to be with her, that's just what he gets. Liz Hurley magically appears in a slinky red dress and holding a pool cue which, for better or worse, looks like a scene ripped from “Weird Science.” The trailer segment winds up with a flustered Fraser watching Hurley shoot some pool, ending with the never before seen shot of her shooting the 8 ball into the corner pocket, which so happens to be framed right in front of Fraser's crotch*******.

The next clip served up by the trailer introduces a possible solution to Fraser's predicament as Hurley offers to give him anything he wants********. Fraser, intrigued by the offer, asks who Hurley is and she reveals she's the Devil. SHOCKER! The two discuss the important plot point that gives Fraser seven wishes in exchange for his soul. Now, I give the trailer makers their props for assembling a trailer that's sure to interest audience members and pack them into the theater. It was a wise play on their part to provide the basic plot of the movie because just as with the original movie, it's the strength of the film, with the sight gags and other jokes being small surprises.

By the looks of the other scenes in the trailer, this newly updated “Bedazzled” will have some small comedic surprises as well, such as the consequences of Fraser's first wish when he ends up being a Spanish speaking big time Latin American drug dealer*********. When Fraser's drug dealer ends up being shot at and killed by some military men, we find out Hurley's Devil is all about abusing loopholes**********. Then again, as everyone knows, when you're running with the Devil, you're gonna get cheated on***********.

The trailer ends with a bikini clad Hurley holding an apple, wearing a snake, and asking Fraser if she looks like someone who would trick him. Kudos to the trailer folks for ending the preview with this scene, because it's a VERY good last image to leave in the minds of people, mostly men, watching the trailer. That's why I'd consider this to be an example of a good trailer. It could have been made better if they decided to entice the viewer more with scenes of the comedy they'd see in the movie, like the “Meet The Parents” trailer did, but then again maybe those scenes are lacking in “Bedazzled,” so they're banking on some hot Elizabeth Hurley action to bring in the crowds.

While Hurley is currently considered a SAG scab that's dirtier and filthier than any of the leg scabs Colleen from “Survivor” has, it's a venial sin************, and I would definitely see this movie at a matinee showing. I might even be willing to pay full price to see it if I saw it with the right group of friends, but I certainly wouldn't rush out to see it and force others to watch it with me. If someone were to suggest, “Hey, let's watch that new Hurley movie where she's all hot looking and dressed in a bikini and as a Catholic school girl,” then I would see no problem in agreeing to watch the movie. Or you could rush out to see “Pay It Forward” like everyone else who's been totally brainwashed by the Oscar buzz, only to leave the theater slightly disappointed and mumbling to yourself, “the trailer made it look so much better and more fulfilling…bastards*************."

*Like TV shows about judges, reality programming, gross-out teen horror movies, and giving Sylvester Stallone more movies to star in just to name a few.
**The worst of course being re-makes starring Sylvester Stallone.
***With the obvious exception of a married woman on AIM, much to the chagrin of Jamie.
****Because he's a totally believable geek by Hollywood's standards.
*****Since she's not married, it's okay.
******One might advise he give her some Beck tapes or a hand kiss if he would like to fail in an even bigger way.
*******When I say never, I obviously mean "oft-used." If you didn't catch that without this explanation, you probably should look into selling your soul to the Devil for a third of a brain and the ability to give "Highlander" the MST treatment.
********And she does so in that hot and sex-ay Brit accent she has. Can you believe Hugh Grant was stupid enough to cheat on her? What kind of freak is he? You'd think some pasty Brit with bad teeth would be smart enough to do everything in his power NOT to fuck up a relationship with Hurley, but it only goes to prove my theory that all British men are gay.
*********The excerpts from this include a scene where Fraser is shocked by his ability to now speak the language, which I'm sure will get played out and beaten like a dead horse that's already been killed and beaten by Mike Meyers.
**********Take it from me, abusing loopholes is one fantastic tool that you should always be looking to use.
***********The Devil doesn't play not to lose, but to win, which is why it only plays when it knows it will win.
************Especially when you account for her difficult life, like Hugh Grant getting head from a butt ugly whore and her relentless hounding by paparazzi, as well as the fact she looks VERY good in a cheerleader outfit.
*************Although you can't really be all that disappointed in a movie with Kevin Spacey and Jay Mohr.

Review by drunks@homegame.org

Big glasses and a bad haircut automatically mean "geek," because Clark Kent says so.

Take that bra off your head, Lisa's here!

Can you believe she's British?

For the price of your soul, all of this can be yours...including the Gonzo-like nose.

Would you do this Fembot?

Do they speak English in drug dealer Hell?!

I'd much prefer doing it on the hood of a car over landing on one after a 300 foot fall.

Yeah, I'd definitely have to say I'd do that Fembot.