Schizotrichia by Rod Unks
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August 23, 1999
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August 30, 1999

Welcome to another installment of SCHIZOTRICHIA and another new article delivering the most thought provoking insights you'll ever see. Schizotrichia is society's alarm clock, waking everyone and bringing them back to harsh reality! Continue on at your own risk!

Dennis Miller, what a whore...

You just know Bill Clinton goes on IRC and has cybersex...

Why the fuck can the Windows' taskbar be pulled half way up the screen?

In the time it takes to brush your teeth, one woman in America is forcibly raped. Don't brush your damn teeth!

The last time I checked, people were put in jail for murder...

I don't appreciate it when a government official laughs at you when you ask to copyright the copyright logo...

Lots of planes have been crashing lately, yet the Backstreet Boys and N'Sync still live...

Yeah that's right, I like to get my jerk on while I watch Leia in her steel bikini in "Return of the Jedi." What's it to you, punk?

"Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" ended it's two week run. What did we learn? People is stoopid...

How come Robbie "I'm not going out on the first question" the Ray-tarded llama boy hasn't committed suicide yet?

Sign of the apocalypse 3,610: There don't seem to be enough cocoa plants to keep up with the world's demand of chocolate...

Helen Hunt has the biggest freakin' forehead I've seen on a lady; it's like I'm looking at Frankenstein's monster...

David Duchovny just doesn't get it...

The Internet was solely invented for scientists and other techno-geeks to trade porn at light speed. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise...

Andy Panda is one of the stupidest cartoon characters ever conceived...

Not enough people say "boss" or "righteous" to convey excitement these days...

The media shouldn't have blown it's wad early and saved the title "miracle drug" for a medication more worthy than Viagra...

Jenna Elfman needs to be bent over an E-meter and "audited" repeatedly...

DON'T JUDGE ME!

"Breakin'" was the best of the 80's break dance films...

If you ever get bored, I DO NOT suggest you get a truck to drive over your crotch...

Judging by his jokes and skits, Jay Leno's target audience is composed of 5 year olds...

Have you seen the price of porn these days?!

I've heard masturbation is the nympho's nicotine patch...

Christopher Walken is not a psycho like the characters he plays; he's a very nice man and a fantastic actor...

drunks@homegame.org has had his share of women, a very small share, but a share nonetheless.

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