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and Billy Cardwell.

Internet gossip Matt Drudge has signed a $500,000 deal to write a book for Penguin Putnam about his career, the Washington Post reported today. It quoted Drudge as saying, "I see the book as a middle finger to the establishment." Now we want to finally reveal that Drudge is actually working for THEM. We've recently uncovered undoctored photos that show that Matt Drudge's mongoloid-like facial condition is actually the result of a botched plastic surgery job. Through sources that I can not reveal to you, dear readers, we've come to understand that Drudge is actually nothing more than a fount of disinformation placed in power by The Man in an effort to draw people's attentions away from what THEY don't want you to study with a clear eye.

20th Century Fox was dealt another legal blow by one of its high-profile stars -- this time it's "NYPD Blue" co-creator and executive producer Steven Bochco. A Bochco spokeswoman confirmed that the producer has sued the News Corp.-owned studio over back-end profits on his venerable cop show. Bochco, who has long been based at Fox, accuses it of self-dealing "Blue" to the News Corp.-owned FX network for $400,000 an episode and not shopping it to other interested buyers. News Corp. has distribution rights to the Emmy-winning police drama. And the marketplace might have paid top dollar for "Blue" when News Corp. began shopping its first cycle: reruns of "ER" from Time Warner-owned Warner Bros. TV were under a bidding war among TNT, Lifetime and USA Network before Time Warner-owned TNT cut the deal for $1.2 million an episode. Because of on the set turmoil, Bochco is lobbying to have the series moved to LA, and renamed LAPD Khaki, so that he can be closer to his mistress. Once there, he will get antsy and try to get out of his contract, then file another frivolous law suit.

Referring to the Internet as if it were an extension of its broadcast operations, ABC News announced Monday that it plans to debut SamDonaldson@ABCNEWS.com, "the first regularly scheduled, live, television-quality produced Web-cast offered by a broadcast network," on Sept. 27. According to the announcement, the program, to be hosted by the veteran newsman, will be 15 minutes in length and air live on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 12:30 p.m., ET; it will also be available "on demand" at other times. The Web-cast, to be delivered by "streaming" technology (which limits the number of people that can view it at one time), will reportedly include features dealing with various issues in the news as well as "occasional newsmaker interviews." It was not clear whether it will also include breaking news. The announcement also said that ABC News is building a new set in its Washington headquarters for the program. The reason for the delay until the end of the month is because Sam has had a motorcycle wreck and is currently getting his mind preserved in an artifical reality.

In what is potentially an unprecedented deal between a governmental body and a private corporation, the government of Hong Kong may put up as much as $1 billion for a 55-percent stake in a new 310-acre Walt Disney theme park to be built in the city, Bloomberg News reported Monday, citing a person familiar with the plan. The deal would probably include provisions that would protect the government's investment if revenue forecasts for the park are not met, the wire service said. In an effort to appeal to the locals, the following rides have been created.
It's A Small Sweatshop
Hong Kong Chun
Anime-Tentacle-Rape-Town
Haunted Forbidden City
Space "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Mountain

In an effort to draw younger audiences to its magazine shows, ABC News plans to mount aN "edgier" Thursday version of 20/20 to be named 20/20 Downtown beginning Oct. 7. In order to appeal to the younger audience, they will have their "man on the street" interviews conducted by vetern interview personality Tom Green. Currently in progress are stories on topics such as: Piercings, Lockjaw, and You; How Much is Toooo Much Rohypnol; Car Surfin' Safari; and Uncle Carl, What's Up with THAT!

In Movie News:
The 6th Sense has finally been bumped out of the number one spot thanks to the good reporting from HGNews. That's right Hollywood, people are reading us and we've truly become an internet presence, so don't piss us off with Bruce Willis movies.
Stigmata took the number one spot with $18,309,666. Even with the movie being about Satan, and having a closing number like that, we can't confirm that Joel Schumacher actually had anything to do with the film

JVC is planning to introduce a digital VCR in November that can record up to 24 hours on a single videocassette, a longer recording time than DVD recorders that are scheduled to roll out sometime next year. In a statement, the company said that the consumer models will be initially distributed in Japan and Europe. The reason that they are going to roll out there first is because with such small living spaces, the Japanese need a more compact way to store thier Hello Kitty cat-tail rape anime porn.

So when does he have time to run Minnesota? Jesse Ventura, the wrestler-turned-governor of Minnesota, has formed Minneapolis-based GCF Inc., a video and record label, and has signed an exclusive distribution agreement with leading independent distribution company Navarre Corp. Ventura's initial releases through Navarre include a compilation CD titled "We Rocked the World" and a documentary video, "Citizen Jesse, We Shocked the World." The "We Rocked the World" CD features full-length recordings by Jonny Lang, the Blenders, Sounds of Blackness and local Minnesota musicians, with quotes from the state's first "rock 'n' roll" governor. The "Citizen Jesse, We Shocked the World" video features a review of the campaign, election, inauguration and post-inauguration events.
It's hard to miss all the mentions of "world" in this release, so we asked the chicken left over from the Emmy report and it pecked out that Jesse is actually forming the JWO to combat the NWO in order to take over the world. Joining Jesse in the JWO is local musician TAFKA Prince. Once they rule supreme, everyone will be forced to shave thier head, wear assless pants, and have a purple boa around thier neck, just like the regular Minnesota residents have to now.

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