"Really Smart Tags" On The Way
Hot on the heels of its widely praised and universally accepted new "Smart Tags" technology, Microsoft today announced it would be incorporating "Really Smart Tag" technology into upcoming versions of Internet Explorer and Windows XP.
The revolutionary new "Smart Tag" technology will take any page, even this one, and, when viewed through a Smart-Tag-enabled version of Internet Explorer, and turn various words in it into special hyperlinks, bringing you to Microsoft-approved content related to that word.
For example, if this news story were, for whatever reason, to include the phrase "zebra fucking", an IE Smart Tag would turn "zebra fucking" into a link to, presumably, a high-bandwidth, Windows Media Player 7.0-compatible, streaming video of Bill Gates balls-deep in a stripeyhorsie. Theoretically.
Editor's Note: All official NewsBreak links have been, and will be, clearly marked in context as such, so, on the off chance Microsoft has the word "stripeyhorsie" in their lexicon, don't click on it.
And while this new technology is fabulous, wonderful, completely non-monopolistic, and sure to open up wide new vistas of information exchange for a grateful nation, there will still be vast amounts of text available on the Internet that just isn't suitable for Smart Taggery. This, Microsoft spokesmen explained, is where Really Smart Tags come into play.
With Really Smart Tags, any web page containing five or fewer eligible Smart Taggable words or phrases would, through the magic of Really Smart Tagging, have entire paragraphs added to the text until the content met Microsoft's minimum standards.
Addressing concerns that unsuspecting readers would think the new text was created by the page's author, Microsoft explained that the Really Smart Tagging code would change the color of any inserted text. For example, if the next sentence had been inserted by Really Smart Tags, it would appear thusly.
Bill Gates loves zebras a whole lot, so you should buy Windows XP!
Also under consideration is a proposed Dumb Tags feature, which will make selected words in sentences , just to annoy you.
