Up In The Air (4/27/98)
In a move calculated to extract even more money from its patrons, the Mall of America last week hung several individuals upside down for an hour.Last Wednesday, in an incident so unreported that it took me almost a week to notice, the Mighty Axe, a brand new attraction at "Camp Snoopy", the amusement park located inside the mall, got stuck upside down for a good hour. Mall employees furiously worked to collect the loose change, bills, and credit cards that fell from the pockets of the inverted patrons until they were freed.
Mall patrons, used to gouging and extortion, were unconcerned. "Hey, when the items on the Burger King 99 cent value menu range from a buck thirty nine to a buck seventy, the Mighty Axe seems like a bargain!", admitted one unlucky fool.
For those of you unfamiliar with the Mall of America, it's a really, really big mall in Minneapolis that has a half-assed amusement park inside of it. Tourists come to this really, really big mall from all around the country, only to discover to their chagrin that it's just a really, really, big mall.
