Newsgroup invasion is the Internet's closest known equivalent to cow tipping. Give a bored teenage redneck a modem, and he's still a bored teenage redneck. And, surprise surprise, right after the word came down that MST3K would be ending, the Usenet group rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, got "invaded". Poorly. By some morons. Who got enshrined on Feb. 26, 1999. Because that's what we do here. Let's run it down. We've got Gid Tanner, Muffy Bits, and Rob Cypher (a.k.a. Great Tit, a.k.a. Mickey D), up to all of which may in fact be the same person. Or not. Since it doesn't really matter, does it? Let's go to the tape. First, we have the blatant, poorly constructed provocateur post: "MST3K was cancelled...because nobody watches it." - Gid Tanner The above, plus self-aggrandizement: "MST3K IS CANCELLED!!!! HA HA HA!!! ROB CYPHER! ROB CYPHER IS THE GREATEST!!!" - Rob Cypher The above, only just against the newsgroup... "rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc will die now Because the show has been canceled, and there's no further use for dialogue." - Rob Cypher Making fun of people's screen names... "I have a sexy farmgirl pin up calander." - Muffy Bits We've got the old, standby fat joke... "Mary Jo Pehl killed MST3K. She smothered the show with her big fat ASS." - Gid Tanner Incompetent Infiltration and Redirection... "Trolls most often pose as regulars and try to incite people - wait a cottin' picking minute. Troll feeding....OH MY GOD THIS IS NOT A REAL REG, IT IS A TROLL." - Muffy Bits The sock-puppet mutual admiration society... "Cypher Vs. RATMM: Place your bets, place your bets. The odds are ninety-nine to one, in his favor." - Gid Tanner Implausible Deniability... "Hey man, I made that post [to invade RATMM] before I knew it was cancelled." - Gid Tanner Some emergency last-minute scatology... "My mate does not flush...The toilet after she leaves a log. I come back from watching taped episodes of MST3K and there is a large train of waste, waiting to be ejected. I hate that so bad. Tell me about your similar experiences, please." - Muffy Bits And the usual array of crossposted flame threads, inane blather, and half-assed tomfoolery that accompanies such an "invasion". And, of course, it was doomed to fail, right from the start. Days of effort, and what did they get? A couple of bites from regulars who, at any other time, would have known better. A handful of bites from lurkers brought into the fore by cancellation. And two, maybe three reminders not to feed the energy creature. Not so much an invasion really, as a quick penetration, even quicker climax, followed by days of bragging to friends about their newfound experience. As a badge of your coming of age, I present your entry to the Shrine. Enjoy.