But Can You Replace Their Dignity?
Fresh from the local pages, the revelation that auto glass replacement magnate George Corporaal has been sued by two employees for sexual harassment has sent shockwaves through the lucrative, Minneapolis auto glass replacement industry... and beyond.
Corporaal, who's achieved some small measure of fame by appearing in his own TV ads, most recently starred in a soul-scarring Charlie's Angels parody, in which three vague local ethnic matches to Diaz, Barrymore and Liu lounged uncomfortably on couches and discussed replacing windshields. This is not a lie.
The besieged glassmonger is accused of creating a hostile and sexist work environment, engaging in a near-constant stream of sexual banter, and inappropriate touching, including rubbing his crotch up against on eof the employee's butts while she was doing some filing. This is also not a lie.
The following is a list of completely speculative, invented sexist comments we believe might have taken place at the auto glass replacement shop:
- Forget glass replacement. Try my free, ten-minute ass displacement service, baby.
- I gotcher free box of steaks RIGHT HERE.
- Look, I'll call the manufacturer, but I'm telling you, on this tube of adhesive, it specifically says that two chicks have to make out on the hood of the car before the glue will set. Don't blame me.
- Could you call Allstate and have them see if Mr. Shappe's policy covers the glass replacement on his '87 Yugo? Could you do it with your hand on my crotch?
- Hey, baby, doing some filing? File this under "Ohhhhhh".
- Have you been pilfering samples of our advanced Dura-Shine windshield polishing compound for personal use in your laundry? Because I can see myself in your pants.
