REVIEW: Thank You, Akiva (4/6/98)
Millions of people went to see "Lost In Space" on its opening weekend. I was one of them. And if you weren't, dear God, don't become one.While it was better than last year's troika of terror (Batman and Robin, Event Horizon, and Starship Troopers), LiS still bit el grande. One is left pondering the question, "Can Akiva Goldsman write a script so convoluted even he can't understand it?", to which the answer is a resounding YES.
Quick list of basic science concepts Goldsman gets wrong: gravity, inertia, mass, temperature, units of radiation, time, biology.
Special effects are a mixed bag. Blawp, the most blatant marketing ploy since Macauley Culkin, is a blatantly obvious, badly composited, godawfully annoying chunk of CGI. Penny Robinson, on the other hand, is the most realistic creation yet to come out of Jim Henson's Creature Shop.
Gary Oldman, obviously workin' for the paycheck, is painful to watch as Dr. Smith. And you haven't lived until you hear Akiva Goldsman "dialogue" uttered unconvincingly by an 8 year old moppet.
You have been warned.
