NewsBreak Author Tapped Out! (2/26/98)
In a startling development, after just one week, the author of the wildly popular "TMC NewsBreak" series of daily fake news items, is stuck for an idea."It's not my fault," explained the writer, as he sobbed openly in front of this reporter. "Nothing interesting HAPPENED yesterday!"
However, our investigators, after painstaking research, have noticed several events that DID take place yesterday, all of which could be ample fodder for a real writer. These items include the antics at the Grammys, the Tommy and Pamela Anderson court brouhaha, and, while tasteless, the passing of standup comic Henny Youngman.
After going through the writer's trash, all in the name of the people's right to know, our crack team of TMC StoryBreakers uncovered a cellophane wrapper and a Target reciept for "Gex: Enter The Gecko". We can only assume from this that a late night of videogaming has left the writer bleary and desperate.
"What worries me most," said a concerned source close to the writer, "is that after only a week, he's resorting to the self-referential non-item item. That's not a well you can go to often, and seeing him use it this early, well, it's just sad."
There will be no further updates to this story as it fails to develop.
