Welcome to another installment of SCHIZOTRICHIA and another new article delivering the most thought provoking insights you'll ever see. Schizotrichia is society's alarm clock, waking everyone and bringing them back to harsh reality! Continue on at your own risk!

Welcome to the Special 10th Anniversary Edition of Schizotrichia! That's right, over 10 weeks Schizotrichia has brought you over 200 lines of thought provoking insights! It's AMAZING! Please enjoy a retrospective look with "The Best of Schizotrichia: The Past 10 Weeks." And when you're done with that, enjoy a NEW Schizotrichia below, because all I do is give, give, give!

Boy, could we have ANOTHER "Blair Witch" movie/web site parody? Because the other million parodies of the movie just aren't enough...

I'm still trying to figure out when John Goodman became a Blues Brother...

NEVER call a girl crazy when she's got the top position. In fact, if she's on top, you'd best shut your mouth and just thank God. The only time you can call a girl crazy is when you're behind her driving...

Damn "The Godfather" is one fucking great movie...

Hitting a woman is just plain wrong...

I was talking to a female friend the other day and she was upset that her now ex-boyfriend didn't break up with her in a creative way. Ladies, when a guy breaks up with you, the last thing he wants to do is waste time on coming up with a song, dance, and comedy routine with smoke and lasers that says he doesn't think you give good head...

Is Dennis Miller actually funny? Or do people laugh because they don't understand his references, but think they sound funny and don't want to look like idiots?

If Star Trek is all about advanced science and technology, shouldn't there be more Asian people around?

I suggest you spend a day at the zoo...

Why all the complaints about anal probes and sperm or egg extractions by aliens? Having seen a sampling of the abductees, they should be thankful they're getting some action...

Anyone who enjoys listening to that Mambo No. 5 song needs to be shot in the knees...

People need to learn to do basic math and figure out that under the calendar we're using, the millennium isn't until 2001...

Because there's nothing worse than creating a calendar and not knowing how to use it...

42...

People who aren't willing to fight dirty, don't deserve to win the fight...

Merry Christmas everyone! Can you believe it was only 7014 years ago to this day that Buddha got it on in a threesome with Nancy Reagan and Hallmark to create the messiah, Saddam Hussein, thereby revolutionizing the act of gift giving? God bless Greece!

Isn't it amazing that so many people actually believe what preacher and part-time healer Benny Hinn says?

Just saw the trailer for the upcoming "Pokemon" movie, and I have to ask, why? Were the people vomiting from the shaky camera work in "Blair Witch" not enough, that we need numerous kids going into seizures and crapping in their pants?

Gillian Anderson needs to bent over her non-existent desk in Mulder's office and anally probed by an Emmy...

DON'T JUDGE ME!

Give someone a fish, and you feed them for a day. Teach someone to fish, and you've got competition so kiss your monopoly good bye, SUCKER!

Tiny "Zeus" Lister is a great, black, character actor and a very religious man...

To that guy with the black "Pornstar" shirt at the CD listening booth at Tower Records: Just because you have the headphones on, doesn't mean you're in a recording studio, SO SHUT YOUR LOUD, OFF-KEY SINGING ASS THE FUCK UP!

drunks@homegame.org is an equal opportunity dater.

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