NONE YET
We hope to bring you a new mind bendingly difficult puzzle of the mind that will bend your mind each month, because that's how long it will probably take you to solve each puzzle, or at least fully recover from the unbending of your bent mind. The two of us have put several man hours into creating these mind bending puzzles in an effort to stymie the current decline of intelligence in today's global society, as evidenced by the popularity of shows like, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" and "Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire." In a truly enlightened and intellectual society, such programs would not exist and would be looked down upon as if they were primitive gladiator-like spectator sports. In such a perfect world, programs, which would be shown on something much grander and technologically advanced than a simple 2-D television (because it would be a world where giant robots with lasers and Darwinian selection protocols would eradicate those intellectually weak persons showing an IQ of less than 160, ensuring the creation of technologically advanced technologies to do technological things), would reward the intellectual. "Who Wants To Scalp Massage A Mensa Member" would consistently rate in the top 10 programs on the Much-Grander-and-Technologically-Advanced-Than-A-Simple-2-D-Television thing. The same would probably be true for shows on the Playgenius channel where people would read books on advanced particle physics or passages from James Joyce's "The Dubliners" to facilitate the mental masturbation of geniuses across the globe! Anyway, these are tales for another time. Please enjoy this month's edition of Fun and Games!
March 09, 2000
This month, we bring you a psychologically disturbing maze created through complex computer algorithms composed by us. We warn you that it pushes the boundaries of human decency and the laws of all known physics. We are very wary of even unleashing this maze upon the populace of the Earth for fear that it may somehow destroy space-time as we know it. Hell, Albert thinks solving the puzzle might even unlock the door to Hell itself (yes, we haven't really solved it on paper yet, but we've thought about it for a long time and we think we have the answer).
INSTRUCTIONS: For this maze, we ask that you obtain a non-erasable marker (preferably a black Sharpie). When you click the link to the nearly impossible maze, the incredibly and insanely difficult maze will appear on your computer monitor/screen. If you are prone to fainting, we ask that you please sit down prior to attempting to solve the maze. Also, notify someone of what you will be doing and how much time you expect to be spending on the task. This will help should you pass out from a cerebral overheat, intense mindbending, loss of blood from nosebleeds, or countless other health hazards. Like any maze, you begin at the "START" and use your Sharpie to track a path to the "FINISH" without lifting the marker off your monitor. If you can finish this labyrinth, then you truly deserve a Nobel Prize, or some shiny metal object to recognize your powerful brain and dangerous intelligence.
ESTIMATED TIME FOR COMPLETION: 19 mindbendingly insane days of total thought and concentration.
NOTE: We, HGNews, HGI, or any other affiliated party is not responsible for any mental, emotional, or physical harm caused due to your participation in this exercise. We also are not responsible for harm caused to your social life or negative employment/productivity consequences because you do not have the will power to pull yourself away from this puzzle.