Hah! Tough! (3/10/98)
It's my friggin' birthday, so there's no way you're gonna get me to write a fake news item today, because, and get this, I don't have to. And you know why I don't friggin' have to? Because it's my friggin' birthday, that's friggin' why. The rest of the friggin' time you'll get yer fake news, oh yes, you'll get it, without complaint, without argument. But not friggin' today.(The above rant is, of course, predicated on the completely untrue fact that I don't have to do any of these at all, whether it's my friggin' birthday or not.)
