Welcome to the Department of General Edification and Encouragement of Knowledge. This is where I teach you things. These will not necessarily be things you thought you wanted to know, but I like to presume that, once you know them, you will have retrospectively thought you wanted to know them. And if the postknowing predesire doesn't, for some reason, retroactively occur immediately upon finishing the text, take heart in the fact that I firmly believe that it will, in fact, occur at some point prior to the end of your natural lifespan. The Messy Canvas and Department of G.E.E.K. make no allowances for sudden or untimely deaths.


I Believe I Can Vomit (6/21/02)
Hail Bail! (6/7/02)