x83 SURVIVING THE GAME (2/22/98)

MOVIE
The Most Dangerous Game is a book that most everyone has read at one time or another. And most have seen a few good movies that were based on this book. However, this isn't one of them. In this installment of the story, the setting is somewhat updated so that the hunted is a hobo, ICE-T, that has been offered a job by ROC as a garbage man to their cabin in the mountains. He rides with then to join ROC, a Mozart hater and his son, two doughy white guys and a cokehead. He gets to eat a pig head and grab some smokes all while hearing of the childhood joys of Gary Busey. In the morning he gets waken up with a gun to the snout and told to run. Thus begins the game part of the movie. Along the way, he catches one of the hunters and the hunter begins to see his side and stops hunting ICE only to be shot in the head by his comrades. In the end, Hank the dead hobo helps ICE-T win the day and truly be the most dangerous game.

BLOODLUST!
Ironf> Starring Soda-pop and Kool-aid
bowleg> Starring Ice-T as the one-armed man.
Bice> Somebody pull the oily rag out of that guy's voicebox.
bowleg> Kurt Vonnegut in a role that will depress you.
mgrasso> surviving the game: more whuppins per minute than any other medicore action movie
Bice> A crotch-kick within the first five minutes - always the sign of a quality movie.
Ironf> That's good hooch!
mgrasso> still it's no match for rowdy roddy piper vs. construction worker in "they live"
dungarees> Nice Sausage Curls, brother, Shirley Temple Black is spinning in the premature grave to which you've driven her.
THX-1138> Damn you! You will take this lunch if I have to cram it down your throat you bum!
mgrasso> can i interest you in some literature about the life of l. Ron Hbbard?
Ironf> I publish playbum. We need models
mgrasso> flashdance 2: 100% ice-t
bowleg> Doodlebug's brother Ernie;.
Ironf> The stirring self-love scene.
Bice> Scratching balls - another sign of a fine movie.
bowleg> oh boy! think of the crack i'll buy with this!
bowleg> I'm Cherokee-T.
Bice> He's providing propane, and propane accessories.
dungarees> Pa Ingalls is not gonna take too kindly to him bunking down with Laura, Mary, and Carrie.
bowleg> I HATE THOSE COKE BUSEYS!
Ironf> I was snorting coke, got too high and fell on the straw.
THX-1138> He got winded from telling a story. Impressive.
mgrasso> dr. katz and ben on a manhunt
dungarees> I love these guys with their beer bellies, wondering if Ice will be enough of a challange for them.
Ironf> He has already had his morning line.
THX-1138> Oh, you have to love these jump cuts juxtaposing the different worlds of chaotic fear and ordered madness
dungarees> Momma don't let your babies grow up to be red necks...
mgrasso> the members of grand funk railroad enjoy their periodic trips to the wilderness
THX-1138> Chuck Norris will come to his aid
dungarees> He just needs to make a radio out of cocoanuts and some queen anne's lace...that's what MacGuyver and the Professor would do.
Ironf> Nestea Plunge!
bowleg> the most dangerous game is brought to you by Phillip Morris.
dungarees> If you are going to kill me... I need you to know that I've been admiring your package from afar.
bowleg> ah, the importance of foreshadowing.
Ironf> He got those scars from improper use of Luv-Handelz
bowleg> Ice Ice Backstory, dum dum dum dum da da dum dum...
dungarees> The place was a fire trap, so nightly I would soak myself in acetone and smoke Havanas as a form of protest.
bowleg> ice-T has learned the first lesson of how not to be seen.
dungarees> There's something very Snoopy-as-the-Red-Baron-ish about those goggles and Huggy Bear hats.
Ironf> Brought to you by crack cam
bowleg> I miss Cokehead.
Ironf> See Busey had a clause that they had to supply him with coke every day he was there. Thus, he was the first to be killed.
BillBear> Whoopie Goldberg survived the crash!
dungarees> So, correct me if I'm wrong, but he's still stuck 800 miles from anywhere with no food, water or shelter and no way to get back to his cushy home in the gutter?
THX-1138> He's tunred into Gene Hackman
BillBear> And bless your hat that looks like a muffin, good woman.
Ironf> Let's all take the time to remember what 'ole Henry taught us at the beginning of the movie.
bowleg> boy, I wonder what sort of ironic fate awaits him.
dungarees> They are DEFINITELY locked like lovers, and I don't want to know what's dripping from Ice's gaping Maw
bowleg> this movie was just a big steaming pile of foreshadowing.
Bice> Anybody learn anything from that pile of crap? Other then to check the barrel?
bowleg> in honor of checking the barrel, we shouldn't learn anything.
Merlynn> I learned T needs a better agent.
dungarees> I learned that blowing up heads is even more kewl in real life than it is in the movies. At least TNT movies.
Ironf> I learned to always check the barrel of a gun. That and Cokeheads always die first.

DEATHRING

"I'm hungry, damnit!"
"Look at this dump, people are becoming damn rabbits!"
"The hell with putting it back, it's already contaminated with your filth!"
"Last time I was on track....I was a virgin."
"God. Still constipated."
"You're young, you're healthy...You seem intelligent"
"This is going to be quite a learning expierence for you."
"Think of it as... foreplay."
"I feel something special about this."
"Try well done, bitch!"
"I can smell your stinkin' ass from here"
"Stop being such a chicken-shit bitch and do it!"
"I sleep on a bed, dickhead! not like an animal!"
"Yo, Cole, your mamma's up here"

In Loving Memory of Hank

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