HERPETOLOGISTS
dungarees> This is one competitive game of Connect Four
ElCriswell> huh? movie?
ElCriswell> where? where movie?
ElCriswell> Oh.
dungarees> It's not so much a movie as a visual tone poem, bow
dungarees> There but for the lack of a Ricardo Montalblan accent go I
dungarees> SSsssssssssuuuuuucccckkks
dungarees> Dirk Benedict! YESS!
dungarees> There goes the only hummer those two will ever see.
ElCriswell> Interesting filth hair gel on her.
BEMaven> How long has the geezer been in detention?
ElCriswell> Rowan's brother, Shemp Atkinson.
THX-1138> I want to see Cobra Commander dammit!
ElCriswell> Dr Stoner?
ElCriswell> duuuuuude
dungarees> Wilford Brimley and Bud Abbot share a Taster's Choice moment
ElCriswell> Are you hitting on me, Shemp?
BEMaven> Standing and talking. Imported from England.
ElCriswell> I only hope that Lembach will be staying.
ElCriswell> Walter Matthau IS Einstein IN "That Movie Who's Title I Don't Remember"
ElCriswell> So, each of these teens dies via snakebite, right? Please? Oh, mommy, can they?
dungarees> Is there any reason that he's carrying around 6 weeks worth of dirty laundry?
Ironf> Ohh just wait till you see what happens to face
ElCriswell> So he's carrying Dr Stoner's hacked up body parts in that valise, eh?
ElCriswell> Christina, meet your tepid love interest.
Ironf> Hi, I have lots of hair
dungarees> She's cute, but you can't tell, cause she has glasses on.
ElCriswell> I think that hair negates any potential cuteness, rees
THX-1138> Coming soon to Fox, When Trouser Snakes Attack
ElCriswell> Dr Stoner: He puts more towels under more doors in one day than you do all year
BEMaven> Stoner drinks alot. keeps seeing snakes in his bed.
ElCriswell> Oh, what a dick. Dying like that. WHAT A JERK!
BEMaven> Get use to Benedict's hairless chest. We'll be seeing a lot of it.
dungarees> I feel so sleepy...I hope your (grand)daughter doesn't take advantage of me in my weekend state.
dungarees> Enter Barbarella, Queen of the Galaxy.
Ironf> he dreaming of having to fight BA to get him on a plane
BEMaven> He sees himself on a big starship with Lorne Green.
dungarees> That sure was one impressive hallucination budget they had themselves.
Ironf> he gives those snakes a lot of booze, doesn't he?
ElCriswell> I've seen better hallucination sequences on NOVA
dungarees> It was 10 four minutes ago. I think we should pitch in and buy this movie a continuity editor
Ironf> The signal is her saying "Hoochie mama"
BEMaven> feel free to put your least favorite child inside the enclosure.
ElCriswell> Dr Stoner, everyone. Let's give him a big hand.
ElCriswell> If only John Carradine was in this role.
BEMaven> all I can get up is one finger, Cris.
dungarees> They really care about the audience. You can tell by how they keep explaining every single fucking minor point ad nauseum.
ElCriswell> A little Face for the ladies...
Ironf> Enjoy
ElCriswell> and for the so-inclined men.
ElCriswell> I don't think that these characters even deserve riffs.
Ironf> I totally believe that is not dried white glue
ElCriswell> And over here is my naked Dirk Benedict.
BEMaven> snakes and lawyers. what an original metaphor.
Ironf> tube steak anyone?
BEMaven> feel like skipping rope, Deputy?
dungarees> I hope she fellates him to death before he can hallucinate to family dinners eaten 4 frigging seconds ago.
ElCriswell> I just hope I can chant the name "DR STONER" for the next few hours
BEMaven> Snakes a little squeeze? What are you implying?
dungarees> Squeal like a pig for me, blondie
BEMaven> No. It's the beach from "Wraith".
dungarees> Oh how I miss wearing only skin-tight turtlenecks
dungarees> It's the tender disrobing scene
Ironf> cue We've Only Just Begun
BEMaven> Why didn't somebody wipe the camera lens?
dungarees> After 10,000 strippings, her hair still beads
IronHelix> of course the stragetically placed branch
dungarees> Hey! We saw her butt cheek!
BEMaven> neat. They hired identical twins as body doubles.
IronHelix> she needs contact lenses
BEMaven> quit with the warning shots. shoot the ducks.
Ironf> The man with two noses
dungarees> You're supposed to ride the ducks, andre. SHoot the shit, ride the ducks
ElCriswell> I'm too busy proving I don't have a moustache.
THX-1138> Snake boy, voiced by Burgess Merideth
BEMaven> He's confusing Karate with Karma Sutra.
ElCriswell> So when do we get some snakebite action?
BEMaven> Didn't see his clippings? His toenail clippings?
Ironf> a motorcycle with a lawnmower engine. How quaint
ElCriswell> Dirk continues to showboat his lack of hair.
BEMaven> Not one snake POV shot yet. I don't understand it.
BEMaven> Harry's going to that UPS depot in the sky.
Ironf> and the ghost of the snake's former self appears with yoda
ElCriswell> Can I just say "Dr Stoner" a few more times?
ElCriswell> DR STONER! DR STONER! WOOOHOOO, DR STONER!
ElCriswell> much better.
IronHelix> black mambo?
ElCriswell> you think snakes and dr stoner's plans might've been just a bit too THIN of a premise to base a motion picture on?
Ironf> He wants to 'get it on'
BEMaven> Burning dead snakes excites a woman. Why didn't I find out sooner?
IronHelix> it probably softens yer skin but leaves dirt
ElCriswell> Can I just say "Dr Stoner" again? Dr Stoner. Ahhh, so refreshing.
Ironf> Beef is getting a special present, isn't he?
BEMaven> Bet the snake found a flask in the briefcase.
Ironf> O/~ Snake on the water O/~
ElCriswell> Dr Stoner: "Now to have my way with him"
ElCriswell> Ok, the snake premise is being stretched to the breaking point.
ElCriswell> To all the Face I've loooooved before....
BEMaven> Does she have a third arm there?
Ironf> I bet he snaps when finding Dirk with his snake in the open
ElCriswell> "You're messin with private stock. Our momma's like a virgin goddess"
BEMaven> doc missed the panty raid.
ElCriswell> Gee, I wonder if Dirk and Stoner get involved in a deadly game of cat and mouse.
Ironf> or snake and mongoose as the case may be
ElCriswell> You're only allowed to fuck snakes! Damnit, you should know better!
Ironf> ahhh an anti-war poster on the other door
Ironf> please no dry humping in bed
ElCriswell> So, FACE, then.
BEMaven> Time to get up and bare your chest again.
ElCriswell> He's turning into a Snakeman!
Ironf> the Hulk!
ElCriswell> Powder 2: Mark of the Face
ElCriswell> Don't drive into any snakes... muhahahahahahahhahahah
Ironf> Oh speaking of, there was an Elvira hosted Eegah on Ebay
ElCriswell> Yuck. I watched an Elvira-hosted Night of the Ghouls today. She's reallllly unfunny.
ElCriswell> And mocking Eddy Wood! BLASPHEMY!
Ironf> Jim Henson's Little Snake Babies
ElCriswell> HMm, do you think that matches Dorff's performance as Candy Darling?
Ironf> Dr. Stoner was in a Cheech and Chong movie too.
Ironf> I mean Strother Martin
Ironf> He was in two GK films
BEMaven> all the snakes in the lab and he grabs a blunt object?
ElCriswell> But I will show the world that I can be it's master! I will perfect a race of snake superman, that will CONQUER THE WORLD!
ElCriswell> Um, any reason why Sparky isn't punching or attacking Stoner?
Ironf> Take you shoe off and bet the crap outta the snake
THX-1138> He chose poorly.
THX-1138> Analconda!
ElCriswell> This is so pathetic.
ElCriswell> Why snakes? This movie should have used possums or maybe sloths. That would be HORRIFIC!
Ironf> Poor Face, what would Murdoc do in this instance?
ElCriswell> Smoke a cigar.
ElCriswell> Wait.
ElCriswell> I mean.
ElCriswell> Uh.
Ironf> That's peppard
ElCriswell> Yeah.
THX-1138> Fly a heelocopter
ElCriswell> I panicked.
Ironf> Murdoc was the crazy
ElCriswell> Everyone goes to the freak show. But nobody laughs when they leave.
THX-1138> Never seen a snake look like Frank Sinatra.
Ironf> the snake should have no problem with all that clothing.
ElCriswell> No snakes were harmed in the making of this picture. Ok, maybe not.
ElCriswell> midgets!
* Ironf hears a midget
ElCriswell> I smell midgets!
THX-1138> The Snakeman sleepeth
Ironf> Charlie Fox .... Arvin LeDoux, the Man with Two Noses
Ironf> Leave it to a frenchie to have two noses
ElCriswell> Excuse me, movie. We haven't had freak shows since the late 50s early 60s.
BEMaven> nancy drew...herpetologist.
ElCriswell> An amputee's work is never done.
THX-1138> No one looks at my snake without paying!
* Ironf writes SSSssss II
THX-1138> Ssssssss II is nothing more than Fly II
ElCriswell> SSSssss I is nothing more than excrement.
Ironf> no, that was ZZZzzzzzz
Ironf> ok, also from the main writer was
Ironf> Zorro, the Gay Blade (1981)
Ironf> be he did give us this
Ironf> Eiger Sanction, The (1975)
BEMaven> first flick I've seen that pads with essay questions in science.
Ironf> Now he will never be able to get Roddy Piper and Tonga Tom any wrestling gigs
BEMaven> A future where you can't type resumes?
IronHelix> its the cheap fade!!
ElCriswell> Slow dissolves, the poor man's transformation effect
THX-1138> He's turning into a ribbed condom!
BEMaven> it's the Muppet Show with our special guest Strother Martin...yayyyy
ElCriswell> On the bright side, at least Dirk Benedict doesn't live.
IronHelix> hail to the almighty polymer
ElCriswell> This movie has all the subtlety of a hammer to the head.
IronHelix> the kazoo is escaping!!
BEMaven> this cuts down on the speaking parts, at least.
Ironf> Guest starring: Fodo from Beastmaster
* IronHelix gives the snake a medal for killing the stupin old guy
Ironf> When confronted by a snake, grunt at it
Ironf> Pull!
Ironf> The Freakin End
* ElCriswell throws popcorn at the screen
ElCriswell> Sheesh. They needed 90 minutes to do THAT?
ElCriswell> This could of been a 30 minute BAD "New Twilight Zone" episode
