ROCKOUT
Balthayzr> Edited for Crap. Movies over.
Ironf> Ladyhawk II: The Quickening
Djenk> OPening sequence by Mrs. Furds 6th period art class
KevinL> Grammatically, shouldn't these movies be called "Her"?
xenu> The RenFest!
KevinL> Big-Helmet Villain-Sign.
Balthayzr> "I am the leader, for I have the pointiest hat!"
BryanL> You know, because this ISN'T at all a state park.
Ironf> This is another gang from Warriors, isn't it?
KevinL> Music by Whitesnake.
Balthayzr> Geez, Marvin the Martian has aged badly.
Bice> Too many batches, too early in the film.
KevinL> That guy's got a serious load in his drawers.
BryanL> Somebody keep an eye out on the off chance two consecutive scenes in this movie relate to each other in any way.
Balthayzr> Boy, these D&D conventions get worse every year.
Ironf> Sid Eudy, food critic.
Balthayzr> Mickey Finns of the FUTURE!!!
KevinL> This movie is word-for-word, scene-for-scene, exactly the same as The Postman.
Ironf> We have bubbling stuff.
Balthayzr> Everyone welcome Professor Exposition!
Bice> Are they showing these scenes in random order?
Djenk> You gotty a pretty mouth, son...
Ironf> and blowjob classes continue
GersonK> No, I think they want Gene Gene the Dancing Machine
Balthayzr> Wow. Sharper Image really does have everything!
GersonK> Warning - contents may have impaled themselves during shipping
nicklby> why are they walking like oompa loompas?
xenu> It just dawned on me that this movie is kinda goofy.
Bice> Is this a rock video?
nicklby> now, a power ballad
Bice> This movie *still* hasn't had two consecutive scenes that make sense.
Balthayzr> So, Ray Charles edited this, huh?
BryanL> Still, it's good that all the different movies have finally joined forces.
Balthayzr> Like sands thru the hourglass, goes the crap level in this movie.
Balthayzr> Mayhap they chanted "Bean", hoping for a better movie.
Bice> I thought the mummies were a product of the booze I'm drinking...
Balthayzr> Actually, this movie looks like they put every 80's video in a blender, and hit Liquify.
KevinL> Nice to see that SWAT team tactics will improve after the Apocalypse.
Ironf> Is the 'music' part of the torture, or is it just for us?
KevinL> Nice to see mummy-tights will be all the rage after the Apocalypse.
Bice> Now IceT is gonna hunt them down.
Balthayzr> Why do Valley girls always survive the Apocalypse????
Ironf> Crissy isn't a very good henchgal, is she?
Balthayzr> They just keep wandering onto other soundstages, I guess.
xenu> Ah. Gay Nazi Greeks.
Ironf> Now those are some fey people.
Bice> Almost an hour, and *still* no decernable plot. That's gotta be a record.
GersonK> man, Sizzler really cleaned up their act after the pocalypse
Ironf> Udo kier in yet another role that will repulse you.
Ironf> stomach cramps....after the loving...
Balthayzr> And we have trick-shop teeth sign.
BryanL> And the man in back said everyone attack and it turned into a ballroom blitz!
* Bice is trying to figure out how this qualifys as a "remake" of the previous "She"
dungarees> Well, I was considering putting my glasses on so I could see the TV. I've thought better of it.
KevinL> So, when -did- Ben Stiller become an evil telekinetic, anyway?
Balthayzr> Godan looks like a Terry Gilliam cartoon.
dungarees> Whatever the faults of this ragtag gang, you must admit that it was bold to decorate their walls in blown up 'have you seen this luser' milk carton panels
Ironf> When Monks attack.
dungarees> Maybe if they didn't wrap themselves so alluringly in black garbage bags, not everyone would want to kill them.
Balthayzr> Why do I think this movie was an elaborate practical joke that broke bad?
Balthayzr> Anyone else see a sly homophobic slant to this film?
KevinL> They're filming on a paintball field and someone smoked the field.
xenu> ah, and there's the shitty rock to keep us company.
nicklby> Baron Munchausen's a Ranger's fan?
Balthayzr> Does she weigh more than a duck?
Bice> The tutu-wearer isn't so much a giant as just a fat guy with a lot of back hair.
Ironf> That's George 'The Animal' Steele hairy.
GersonK> You know, I was wondering how the film was gonna get worse, and back hair didn't even begin to cross my mind. Ingenious!
Bice> Low-budget Robin Williams. Just what we needed.
xenu> Oh man. I bet this guy just kept the crew in stiches. What a card.
KevinL> A young Rip Taylor practices.
Ironf> I totally believe those weren't dummies.
dungarees> It's a city made entirely of honeycombs?
BryanL> Still, this is closer to the Starship Troopers novel than Verhoeven's flick.
Bice> Oh boy, every loser from the movie come together for the grand finale...
Balthayzr> Why does that man have a standing rib roast on his head?
Bice> This movie was written by professional wrestlers, wasn't it?
Balthayzr> And Jerry reed shows up with lots of truckers.
KevinL> Okay, Tutu Giant is just the most freakish thing ever.
xenu> Stephen King's THE RAFT
Jamie> I KNOW I'VE ONLY BEEN HERE 15 MINUTES, BUT . . . end! END END END END END END END
Balthayzr> I learned how to destroy a movie career.
nicklby> I learned not to watch this damn movie again
Bice> I learned that there *are* worse movies than "Manos" out there.
GersonK> I learned Leonard Part 6 was a masterpiece
THX-1138> I learned I should have stayed at the X-Files Expo longer.
xenu> I'm pretty certain I didn't learn anything.
Balthayzr> We learned never to watch this again. And to warn others.
GersonK> I learned Joe Bob is a sadist of the highest order
THX-1138> I learned that getting free X-Files Expo tickets is an automatic profit.
Ironf> Ok I learned that only a good game of Quake 2 CTF can possible clear from me the pain of this 'film'.
