x114 PUMPKINHEAD (4/25/98)

MOVIE
Pumpkinhead is the tragic tale of deformed amateur snuff film actor, Ed Harley, played by Lance Henriksen. When Ed tries to make it into the legitimate world of adult film, he is rejected, not becuase of his troubled past, but due to his hideously deformed sexual organ, oft referred to as the Pumpkinhead. Crushed by this rejection and having had his dream ripped from between his legs, Ed goes into a Zoloft induced fugue where among other things, he bites the heads of lemurs and pleasures himself using the soft spot of a Tongan baby's head. When Ed, in yet another drug induced frezy, swears to destroy the American Adult Film Industry, Joel Hoffman's Steve Fister, head of the AAFI, sends some goons to kidnap his son. A comedy of errors results in Ed's son getting dropped off an antenna tower, and Ed swears vengeance yet again. Recruiting the help of an old hag, played by Mr. Roger's Lady Fairchild, Ed summons the bloated and rotten corpse of the Godfather, who uses mystical Gypsy powers to turn Ed's pumpkinhead into a non-stop killing machine. The climactic ending, filmed in Mexico due to strict American guidelines forbiding beastiality, has Ed's out of control pumpkinhead destroying Fister's ranch and oral raping Fister to death.

LEGENDS OF SLEEPY FELLOWS
Djenk> Marcus "Manly" Manton
Djenk> Inspired by a *POEM*?
THX-1138> 1957 - A man is wished into a cornfield and Stan Winston is THERE!
Djenk> "Now I lay me down to MURDER!!!!!"
Ironf> So the old lady has night vision eyes?
Djenk> And if you hear bloodcurdling screams...its just the cat
TomServo> Oh, yeah, tactics inspired by cartoon
MSTPoopie> I hope this isn't a Sam Peckinpah movie.
BryanL> Pumpkinhead, as seen through the eyes of Superman Red and Superman Blue.
THX-1138> Extreme Avon sales people
BryanL> When Amish Attack.
Ironf> Someone's at the door.......Someone's at the door.....
BryanL> If you come in here, you'll let all the blue in and it'll be purple in here. I can't have that, Clayton.
BryanL> Lance Henriksen IS Dale IN King Of The Hill: The Motion Picture.
Ironf> Lance is kinda rodent looking, isn't he?
Ironf> Seems now all he can forsee is when the anal rapings of people lost in the woods will occur.
BryanL> Not Michael Pare, but an incredible simulation!
BryanL> Hey, motocross! Maybe there'll be sidehacking!
Djenk> Does that kid ever wash his face or is that a birthmark?
BryanL> Three guys, two girls. I sense a Power Rangers motif.
BryanL> Migrant workers get younger every year.
THX-1138> Next thing you know those photos are on some pedophile site on the internet
BryanL> The customer is always inbred, that's our motto.
THX-1138> And the boy goes off to star in Meego.
BryanL> Yeah, it's all EXTREEEEEEEME until someone loses an eye.
Ironf> They say that the evil eye of Lance can kill a man at twenty paces
Ironf> (fonzie)Eyyyyy!(/fonzie)
BryanL> How many more little boys do you have to run over before you admit you have a problem!
BryanL> I LOVE MY DEAD GAY SON!!!!!
MSTPoopie> I'm going to build my son a shrine for the whole world to see!
BryanL> Meanwhile, back at the ranch, they've started eating Eric Roberts.
BryanL> He should get one of those Dead Kid carriers for the top of his truck.
THX-1138> See this is the whole problem with dead sons. Once someone has one, they want to show it off to everyone.
BryanL> She misunderstands him and summons Pumpkin Heddy Lamar.
SirDude> A clear example of Rogain failure.
BryanL> Hey, wait! This crone's made in New York City! Get a rope.
THX-1138> And that boy grew up to form Dexy's Midnight Runners
Ironf> Sorry late for my ladyhawk auditions
BryanL> So is this the scene where he kills Vader, and it's his own head in the helmet?
BryanL> She's a little old to be starring in the remake of "Wrapped Around Your Finger", but then again, so is Sting.
MSTPoopie> And WHO THE HELL IS PUMPKINHEAD?! Is it a character, or is it a metaphor. have not seen anyone who resembles a pumpkin except for the dog and that handicapped fly!
THX-1138> That's what friends are for. Taking the blame for killing a kid.
BryanL> We baked a dead son in a 400 degree oven before the show, and it should be done right about now.
BryanL> The Brady Girls Get MURDERED!
TomServo> Oh, yeah, lock it, that'll hold a 4000 lb beast bent on killing you
BryanL> So, Pumpkinhead's MO is basically lift people into the air and then drop them down. Got it.
BryanL> Lance's southern accent is waxing and waning like the mooooon.
Dungarees> Someone switched the tape! It's Highlander now!
BryanL> You know, if they kill them off one by one at the rate they started, this movie will be over in five more minutes.
BryanL> WE MADE YOU!!!!
THX-1138> Did she survive? Read the book.
Ironf> Emilio Estavez is Grizzly Adams
BryanL> Pumpkinhead and the Newborn. Separated at Birth.
*** shred (shred@1Cust203.tnt8.nyc3.da.uu.net) has joined #MST-HomeGame
*** shred sets mode: +o shred
Dungarees> oooh...now it's red! Is this that trilogy I've heard so much about? The one with Juliette Binoche?
Ironf> I think it was stupid to split Pumkinhead into the Red Pumkinhead and Blue Punkinhead. Just plain silly.
Dungarees> Lance Henrikssen IS Long Dong Silver
*** shred (shred@1Cust203.tnt8.nyc3.da.uu.net) has left #MST-HomeGame
*** Alucard (LAMER@166.ojus-05.fl.dial-access.att.net) has left #MST-HomeGame
BryanL> Shred and Alucard going off together... Hmmmm...
Dungarees> There was an accident earlier. We cryogenically froze your winky.
Ironf> See you don't get to see very make good shots of Punkinhead cause then the 'Alien' lawyers would be picking up the phone.
BryanL> Man, that Pumpkinhead is one brutal corporate slave. He doesn't care whose back he steps on on his mad clime to the top.
Dungarees> Oh...I get it now...red=inside, blue=outside
BryanL> Wait. How can this be an 80's horror movie if there haven't been any nookies?
Ironf> You forgot the kid redneck and his sister bry
Dungarees> If Lea Thompson were in this, she would survive, unfortunately
Ironf> o/~ If it hadn't been for Cotten Eye Joe, I'd been married long time ago...o/~
Ironf> Lance is turning into IM Weasel
BryanL> Swing your pumpkin, do si do, impale Lance Henrickson on a hoe!
Ironf> I still hold my believe that Lance is good in anything.
BryanL> I learned that the Newborn was able to get work before Alien: Resurrection.
Dungarees> I learned that red and blue might make purple, but you'd never know it from this rigidly hue dichotomized post-structuralist film
THX-1138> I learned that Lance loves his dead gay son.
Ironf> I learned that the Punkinhead is pretty to touch, nice to hold, but one you break him, consider him sold.

JACK-OFF LANTERNS
"Check out this kid's glasses. We are talking coke bottles"
"God damn you woman! God damn you!" "He already did, son. He already did."
"Jimmy Joe gots the ball and won't give it up."
"All she can do is take you straight to hell."
"Just in case God doesn't show."