x73 PROPHECY (2/06/98)

MOVIE
I guess "movie" is something that you could use to classify this. I wouldn't, but I guess it could be used. This thing starts with a doctor that is helping out people in the hood. He sees babies and such while his more cultured wife plays the cello and sees Rocky on the side. Well they are called out to Maine to look after some Indians that won't leave their land so we can clear cut it. He hears tales about a "Indian Spirit" that will save them from the white man and then goes fishing. The next day, he goes to the local paper mill to see if they know anything about chemicals leaking into the water. Paper mill managment say they don't allow any chemicals out, but then the guy thinks to look and see if chemicals are used on the logs before they get to the mill and finds out the mercury is used, and is leaching out into the water. This is making the local animals crazy and is deforming thier young. While out on a hike, the group finds a couple of mutant bear cubs, which gives them proof of the leaching. However, big mama mutant don't play that. This giant bear is heir to the legend of the "Indian Spirt", but it tried to kill white man and Indian alike to get it's baby back. In the end, they stab it in the head with an arrow. Ohhh fun.

FOUR LITTLE, FIVE LITTLE, SIX LITTLE INDIANS
Ironf> So when do the angels come down and start killing folks?
ACTION dungarees is blinded by the predator heat sensor cam
BillBear> Dogs come leaping to their deaths for the great taste of Purina! It's the battle of the network miners!
BillBear> I've never seen someone play the cello on ludes before.
Ironf> AAAADRIIAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN
BillBear> How often to doctors charge into a slum and immediately start treating a screaming baby without talking to anyone about what's wrong with it?
Ironf> Good thing they happened to live in a building with only PG graffitti
BillBear> Robert Reed, Survivalist.
Ironf> That's a damn big banjo, lady.
dungarees> He doesn't like Gene Hackman. I respect that
Ironf> Just like a silly Native American to bring an ax to a chain-saw fight.
dungarees> For a native american, he's got quite the roman nose...
BillBear> It's Indian for "white people will believe anything".
dungarees> The hot dog men guest star on a very special Grizzly Adams
BillBear> Yeah, this little display is clearly legal.
dungarees> I nominate that for the worst shift in tone in movie history
BillBear> Nothing like going out into the placid nature of the wilderness and playing funky music loudly.
dungarees> Is it just me, or is he creepier than Christopher Walken?
Ironf> Yeah I hit her in the head with the oar, but she should have gotten out of the way.
dungarees> I have NOT been hitting the Peyote, so don't even think about suggesting it!
BillBear> I'm leaving you for an italian boxer.
dungarees> He is known in our language as 'gets some as often as poindexter'
BillBear> Woman can't walk a factory without needing a rescue. Load.
Ironf> Yeah McGyver was out there last week and build that hearing aid for the old guy, didn't he.
BillBear> Paul Bunyan's toiler paper is rolled
dungarees> Does that mean she has the mad bootay?
BillBear> Boy, good thing you're not pregnant, honey. Right? Right?
dungarees> Mulder has a better grasp of genetics and evolution than
BillBear> Human evolutional bullshit alert! this
Ironf> This is just so much totally crap.
BillBear> Indians are well-known to have the power to explode sleeping bags.
Ironf> Damn drunk Indians.
BillBear> This is my rain stick! Works pretty good, don't you think?
dungarees> Damn drunk gamblin' INdians, thankyewverymuch, Ironf
BillBear> These civil war reenactments get weirder every year.
Ironf> A bear skin rug with 6 arms is a little wacky isn't it?
BillBear> He's breast feeding it!
Ironf> Damn it honey, I just figured it out. You have allergies, don't you?
BillBear> Jeez, this guy is more obtuse than most men. SHE'S PREGNANT, GRIZZLY MORON!
Ironf> I love my crazy mutant baby!
BillBear> A quiver? Why don't they make him wear a headress while theyr'e at it?
Ironf> Yeah, so it's a mutant. We got those all over the place around here. What is your point?
dungarees> They call the wind Roy Orbison
BillBear> You're not going to mention this in your report, are you?
Ironf> That is quite the afro that the old man has started growing, isn't it.
BillBear> Stretcher. Preferred vehicle of the LOAD.
Ironf> Always send the old men to run for help.
dungarees> I really really really needed to see his fillings in a deep and primale way
BillBear> Try spinning down the hill like a baboon!
Ironf> Ahhh they all got in the small school bus.
BillBear> Trees! Take a good long look!
dungarees> This is slightly less frightening than Mr. Toad's wild ride at Disney world
Ironf> mutant on my head, mutant on my head.
BillBear> Dammit, that bear's unstoppable! We need to get a message to Tigger!
Ironf> See the crappy thing is, they are in Crystal Lake.
BillBear> We're being attacked by stop motion! Call Nick Park!
Ironf> That really isn't that good a matte painting.
dungarees> I learned that cellists do not have good rapport with Opies
Ironf> I learned that mutant turd bears have a tendency to back up the toilet.
BillBear> I learned that those mummy bags are prone to exploding on contact with mutant bears.

SEVEN LITTLE, EIGHT LITTLE, NINE LITTLE INDIANS
"It takes a lot of courage to live with me"
"They have some.....things...they want to show us."
"I'd like to see more."
"There's not a damn thing floatin' out there that we don't know about."
"You're responsible for all the effluent that comes out of this plant."
"Freakism! That's what's been going on out there!'
"can we go down?"
"Oh you better take just a wiff.
"Boy, I'm in here tight!"