FECES-COVERED CRIMINALS andre> this next movie looks to be a classic.
mgrasso> oh. it's dubbed. it can't be
shred> The names have been translated to Chinese to protect the guilty.
BillBear> I like walking up to guys and notifying them that they'll be "covering *my* ass".
BillBear> Why is she clicking? Is she Tenctonese?
andre> shot at a mind boggling 18fps!
Balthayzr> Take the left! Right!
BillBear> Hong Kong crime dramas: lots and lots of pointing things at other things.
crow> i can`t swip u gays
BillBear> I haven't swipped a gay in weeks.
andre> bear, I'd really feel more comfortable if you didn't swip quite so many gays.
BillBear> Little cars and little pants: The Hong Kong Story
Ironf> I, personally, have never swipped or had the urge to swip a gay.
shred> yeah, billbear, try not to swipe more than you need.
Balthayzr> That's it! I'm calling in Space Chief!!
andre> I think it needs more pointing at things.
andre> and more gestures.
Balthayzr> How about pointing at stairs?
BillBear> Man he really wants that porn comic back.
BillBear> More pointing!
BillBear> Oh yeah, well what about the rights of those little pants?
Ironf> Love Boat: The Next Wave, now joined in progress.
andre> ah, the Kenny Love Theme
Jamie> so, someone catch me up
andre> oh, Jamie. Meet crow. Don't swip any gays around him.
andre> Nothing much, some guys yelled and pointed.
crow> i`am sorry I`am new at this
shred> stairs. running. pointing. cops with loose ties covering each others butts. that's about it.
* BillBear misses the pointing already
* Balthayzr points at Billbear.
BillBear> And Jamie, YOU'LL be covering MY ass!
Jamie> Is this like the HK Kitty Genovese thing?
shred> I'm really really hoping that the "Triad" in the title turns out to be a three way...
Jamie> is she throwing deli meat at him?
andre> Rape? When did this happen?
Jamie> Monica, calm down!
shred> calm down honey. and give us your panties so we can sell them to japanese salarymen in vending machines.
BillBear> Can someone just give me a hint as to WHAT THE SAM HILL IS GOING ON???
BillBear> The BIG BIG OFFICE!
BillBear> Do you not hear what I am telling you! Mr Cleanly is most disrespectful to dirt!
Balthayzr> Rising Sun 2: The Corner Office!
andre> Right! Yes! Right! Uh-huh. Let's go then! Right! Yes. Mmm-hmm. Uh? RIGHT! YES. YES? RIGHT! Yes. Right!
shred> Ancient Chinese Backstory.
andre> Right!
andre> Yes.
Jamie> Bill, what was it you said earlier?
andre> So uh, what's going on?
Jamie> Was it, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON???!!!!
Jamie> cause, I agree.
BillBear> Btw, did everyone notice GK at the Oscars?
andre> GK!
Balthayzr> GK rulez!
Jamie> Bill, I scared my friends by screaming GK! repeatedly at the top of my lungs.
andre> Levi's loosefitting HK pointing jeans.
andre> We now return to the movie. RIGHT!
Jamie> Roger, my tie adrift! Hello!
BillBear> Synchronized vest wearing!
Jamie> Mr. Rogers is back... and he's a Chinese mob!
shred> it is suddenly cold, let us wear parka vests. right!
Balthayzr> Pointing! Yes!
Djenk> Lifejackets On! YEs!
BillBear> Wallioooooooolls! Come out and praaaaaay!
crow> run for u`r life
andre> crow, one more u`r and I kill you, RIGHT?
andre> MARK... TWAIN... RIGHT?
Jamie> SAM CLEMENS, yes!
BillBear> HELLservices! In COLOR!
andre> 3M... providing quality RIGHT, YES!, HELLO! and good MORNING!... for a better tommorow, RIGHT?
Djenk> And now, a Jean-Luc Ponty Video
BillBear> What is it with the japanese and hyrdofoils and hovercrafts and big inflatable balls with people inside them?
Jamie> Hong Kong! City on the MOVE! Right yes! Hello!
Ironf> Just like the Japanese to bring a sombrero to a pool party.
Balthayzr> More hill-rolling action!
BillBear>''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
Jamie> BillBear's auditioning for the lead in Milos Forman's "Alucard."
BillBear> Now they've got sticks to point with!
BillBear> HELLO! Yes! Thank you! Right!
* andre hums Ride of The ValrighthelloYES!
Balthayzr> Geez, even the dogs are badly dubbed...
shred> so, they're on the lam from the law beacuse he uses prostitutes and she was raped. huh?
Jamie> Smear ourselves in feces YES!
Djenk> The dogs won't smell you, but the cops will....
BillBear> Now the dogs can't smell you, but any human can from 8 miles away.
Balthayzr> Yes! Dirty cheeks will fool them!
Jamie> HELLO! YES! BATHE IN FECES!
* andre points at himself pointing and RIGHT!
mgrasso> it's evening in hong kong, the night air is a little flithier, the fugitives are a little friskier
Jamie> Okay, who's the whore, who was raped, and WHO'S COVERED IN FECES??!!!!
shred> I like them better when they're smeared with feces.
Jamie> Cheese it, it's the Webelos!
Balthayzr> We like feces-smeared crooks! Get out! Right!
andre> He is raped while smeared hello feces, right!
Jamie> Shouldn't they be puffing on a feces-covered cigarette?
Djenk> Ah yes dried fish with feces coated hand? Santized? Yes!
andre> Yllib> what feces are youtalking about?//
BillBear> Hmm...maybe we should have gotten a cup or something.
BillBear> What feces? THE FECES, man! THE FECES!
Jamie> YES! FECES!
Ironf> please remove shoes and feces before entering
Balthayzr> DIDJA GET THE FECES?
shred> the feces to throw off the scent of the dogs. Isn't that what you'd do?
Balthayzr> Ah, the high life of a Hong kong criminal. Feces, dried fish....
BillBear> Whatever may occur, I will find you! Yes? Right!
andre> stop abusing the fixed channel with your feces!
Balthayzr> Gamera is a friend to feces!
BillBear> So...to recap...WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???
Jamie> OCTB, yeah you know me.
Balthayzr> You down with OCTB, Jamie?
andre> Yeah, you know me YES RIGHT hello good morning!
BillBear> What about the rights of that little overexposed roll of film?
BillBear> He just shoved a shamrock shake up his nostril...BASTARDS!
Jamie> This movie bores me yes right feces!
Balthayzr> We'd like the plot from the beginning, as well, please.
Jamie> Reservoir Dogs, RIGHT!
andre> Um, how does this tie into the rape and the feces stuff?
andre> Once a Thief 3: The Yes Hello Feces
andre> ah, thank god for that last bit of pointing.
mgrasso> wow guys this is bad
* andre points at grasso
andre> RIGHT!
Jamie> i have *no* idea what the fuck is going on.
mgrasso> "i freely admit i have no idea what the fuck is going on"
Jamie> stop paraphrasing me, grasso.
andre> Well, grasso... if it'll make you feel better... GOOD EVENING! HELLO! FECES! RAPE HELLO!
* shred points in the general direction of Hong Kong, and screeches like Donald Sutherland in Body Snatchers.
* BillBear points at the death of the spirit of the soul.
andre> And what happned to the cops that were covering asses?
Balthayzr> What about the chopper support??
Djenk> the choppers died
BillBear> What about Hellservices?
andre> and what about the poor dried fish!
andre> and what about the snot torture?
Djenk> Hellservices is for Childrenservices
andre> Yllib, you don't count because you're smothered in feces. RIGHT!
* BillBear stares at andre's finger like a german shepherd
Yllib> i am only surrounded in feces, not smothered
shred> smothered in feces and pan-roasted to a golden brown.
andre> mmmm
BillBear> Mmm...with grilled onions
BillBear> I miss alucard.
BillBear> This movie needs even more people tied up in chairs.
andre> here at vidal sassoon, if you don't right look good, we don't hello good morning!
Balthayzr> Great. Urine and feces.
BillBear> Who is this guy? Who is that guy? WHAT IS HAPPENING???
crow> *sniff**sniff* smeels great, wait`s it`s urine
Balthayzr> I am not an animal! Right, hello!
BillBear> Is he threatening her with a broken tampon?
Djenk> I've got a flourescent bulb and i'm not afraid to use it!
Jamie> Hot Pointing Action!
andre> These guys are taking pointing to an extreme. It's just not RIGHT.
Balthayzr> The annual hooker migration.
BillBear> Sometimes, I'm a soft-server bastard dipped in chocolate.
Balthayzr> You can see why the British didn't wanna lose this film industry....
BillBear> Chicken Volume Guessing San?
Balthayzr> Gambling? What happened to the rape? And the diamonds?
* BillBear is sad
Balthayzr> This police force is starting to look more and more like a fraternity.
Ironf> nobody knows the little shorts I've seen
BillBear> Your honor, I would like to point at you and respectfully request that you cover my ass.
Balthayzr> Yep. Says right on the statement "Beaten out of prisoner". Case dismissed!!
Djenk> Umbrealla-fu!
Balthayzr> You know, I miss that character we haven't seen in a while....
Ironf> I miss the feces
Balthayzr> You know, for all the pointing, this movie has yet to have a point.
andre> hold me, sgt.
andre> cover my ass, sgt.
crow> move u`r car u idion
andre> `````````````````` right! yes! hey! HELLO?
shred> at the end of the movie, they get into a time-travelling airplane, go back to the beginning of the movie and point at themselves.
BillBear> His nipple burst!
shred> I know what you're thinking, punk...did I point five times or six?
shred> Jaffe "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions" Road?
BillBear> Al Jaffe comes in and draws "kachow" all over every gun.
shred> TNT is slowing this down just to piss me off.
andre> Why don't we right do it in the hello road morning?
Djenk> Quick, find more Marlboros to stuff in the wound
shred> What were they guilty of, other than stealing some dried fish and smothering themselves in contraband feces?
andre> ok, without a doubt... this is THE most incomprehensible film we've watched YET. Any competition? Name a few.
Ironf> Superbeast
BillBear> Superbeast?
BillBear> Shaft in Africa?
andre> But we at least knew that clitorectomies were involved.
shred> I still say I have no idea what was up with Hercules in New York - the gods in the garden, the posing contest at the studio, the whole wrestling angle...
BillBear> Gee your crotch smells terrific! Is it feces?
Balthayzr> You're out of order! He's out of order! The whole damn movie's out of order!!
Balthayzr> So, what did we UNDERSTAND???
andre> I understood that the police point an awful lot in the course of its business.
Djenk> Pointing is a good thing. Shouting is a beautiful thing.
Balthayzr> I understand a little poop on the face will fool dogs.
BillBear> I learned I need to stop swipping gays.
andre> I also understand that dried fish makes you cavort under a stream of water in slow motion.
Ironf> I learned YES! RIGHT! HELLO!
andre> I understand that Hong Kong is capable of creating the goofiest goddamn movies on the planet.
shred> I've learned that chinese cops sweat like Rosanne on a stairmaster.
Balthayzr> I learned Orientals can also GET THE DIAMONDS!!
Ironf> Hong Kong, what a load.
