DISEASED LEGIONNAIRES 
cthulhu> Army issue bras!Balthayzr> Oh, cool, Alien 5.
Djenk> I thought it was Species 3
cthulhu> No it's Event Horizon II.
BillBear> It will be a heartwarming tale of life growing up in postwar Brooklyn, Bry.
cthulhu> We now return you to crappy CGI theater.
Balthayzr> We tried dropping our weapons and screaming like kindergarteners, but it didn't work.
BryanL> Parker's getting all his "Official Denial" lines confused with his "Legion" lines.
BryanL> Quick! Shove a plunger up his ass!
Balthayzr> Duke Nukem, Level 1-3.
BryanL> Parker Stevenson in: The Hardy Boys Meet The Newton Boys
cthulhu> Space ship prison courtesy of Lakeview Elementary School.
BryanL> I wonder if the general is a modification of the "Penny" puppetry Henson developed for "Lost In Space".
tubesocked> is this a ragtag bunch of losers that'll form an elite fighting team that will slowly die due to an alien?
dungarees> He's a good soldier. Guess that makes him a hooker and potential whoremonger
BryanL> Corey Feldman IS Trek IN Team Knight Rider: The Movie.
tubesocked> I don't like this ragtag bunch of losers. Can we swap them for another set?
BillBear> Who the hell has a background in "acrobatics"?
dungarees> Background in acrobatics...this is nothing but a beefed up dungeons and dragons cartoon, is it?
BillBear> Ah, the rapist and the rape victim get to stand next to each other. Good planning.
BillBear> Besides, he only raped women after drugging them. It's not like he was one of those nasty violent rapists.
lando5> Parker's never gotten over the separation from Shaun Cassidy...
Balthayzr> I call the rape victim either kills or saves the rapist.* cthulhu votes for them getting married, having a couple of kids, and then breaking up in a messy divorce.
Djenk> I call the demolition expert blows himself up
tubesocked> Nothing like working with a rapist. They're good people.
lando5> Special Guest Appearance by Corey Feldman as Wesley Crusher
dungarees> Does shoving her hands down the back of her pants give her the appearance of authority?
THX-1138EB> Po? Of the Teletubbies
tubesocked> Po and Cutter: the future's vaudeville revivalists
dungarees> And is that Willie from Alf or what?
tubesocked> Over here, is "Structure". Down here, JC Penny's.
dungarees> Parker Stevenson, the only man in the universe who needs collagen implants in his neck
dungarees> How did feldman go from the will wheaton to the martin landau end of the spectrum without passing through tom cruise?
Ironf> I look forward to 'doing' you later
Balthayzr> What happened at macho grande?
BryanL> And remember, if it's not shot 60% in an old oil refinery, it's NOT an SFC original.
cthulhu> They're invading a micro-brewery/
BryanL> OK, we're going to take the guns from Aliens, attach a camcorder lens to the front and some erector set shit to the top. It'll be all futurey.
BryanL> So, pretty much Wolfenstein 3D: The Motion Picture.
tubesocked> only without Hitler.
Balthayzr> So, the security is one guy in a broom closet with a gun.
THX-1138EB> Prop computers from 6 Million Dollar ManBalthayzr> Nice Windows screen-saver back there.
cthulhu> Check out the muzzle control on these guys!
dungarees> In the event that the smalll black woman has to shoot something, that guy is out one butt and probably some testicles
tubesocked> You know, we can just cut and paste riffs from other scifi originals and it would work just fine.
Ironf> sucking is job one!
Balthayzr> Could the covert operation please make MORE NOISE????
dungarees> Cylons. This movie needs Cylons.
THX-1138EB> Christmas lights activated
tubesocked> I think this movie needs an old Kentucky Colonel. A gentlemen of the Old School.
BryanL> Every damn one of 'em is a "Game Over Man" guy.
tubesocked> Parker Stevenson: the desperately poor man's Harrison Ford
Balthayzr> I love movies where all emotions are conveyed by yelling.
Ironf> Ryan, anal rape this man NOW!
BryanL> Shaving Private Ryan.
dungarees> Is that clinique fruit punch lipstick Corey is sporting?
BillBear> John Woo...No, John Won't.
Ironf> Is he suppossed to be autistic?
Balthayzr> I MUST SHOUT ALL MY LINES! IT'S IN MY CONTRACT! RIGHT!! HARD BASTARD!!
tubesocked> ah, the tender love between the rapee and the rapist.
BryanL> Legion. The movie that dares to tease you with potential air duct scens.
BryanL> Could have been worse. At least he didn't choke on someone else's vomit.
cthulhu> Trainspotting II: Alien Resurection.THX-1138EB> It's the Puff Daddy remix of Christmas Cats.
KevinL> Never say "shoot anything that moves" while leaving the room.
BryanL> When I think about Aliens ripoffs, I touch myself.
cthulhu> Come on Corey... your carrer is dead... you have no life... just put the gun to your head....
BryanL> You know, life's not fair. Brandon Lee is dead, and none of these people had an accident with a prop gun and blanks.
KevinL> Is Feldman the dead one? I thought it was Haim.
Jodphurs> Feldman is not technically dead.
tubesocked> he's just resting.
BryanL> Power Grid? That's a dozen speaker cables.
Bice> Trance-Fusion - that's the guitar solo album, right?
BryanL> Recirculating power? Did Akiva Goldsman consult on the science for this?
Balthayzr> Tracking Poe - The sequel to Chasing Amy?
BryanL> Rick Springfield IS the Indian guy IN The English Patient.
Bice> Didn't you? You left the toilet seat up, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?
Jodphurs> Meanwhile, at Darkman's fully functional babe lair...
THX-1138EB> All this to set the oven timer.
* BryanL is of the opinion that Lacey Chabert is the Henson Creature Shop's finest work.
Balthayzr> Everytime we see DAX, she's bleeding more. What, has she got Stigmata?
KevinL> "The Lord is my Shepherd. The Lord sucks at shepherding. Fuck the Lord."
BryanL> It wasn't wrong of me to enjoy blood pouring out of Corey Feldman's mouth, was it?
BillBear> Mike Tyson's prison footageTHX-1138EB> The perfect hunter, the perfect gatherer.
Jodphurs> IT is far FAR too late for exposition
Bice> So, it's Parker against Rick Springfield. Somehow, I always knew it would come down to this.
KevinL> Looking at his face, you think this movie'd be called "Lesion".
BillBear> What? Terry's not dead! FOUL!
tubesocked> So much for an exciting "ending"
Jodphurs> I can't BELIEVE they introduced the entire plot in the last 4 nanoseconds.
tubesocked> "Mad? Why I've done things you haven't DREAMED of doing!!!"
BillBear> You know, the more I think about it, this really wasn't a heartwarming tale about life growing up in post-war brooklyn.
BryanL> Brannon Braga is sitting at home, watching this, and thinking "Man, that's fucked up."
Bice> I learned that heavy drinking doesn't make these movies any better.
Balthayzr> I learned corey is the Anti-Christ. Any movie starring him must be excorsized.
cthulhu> I learned that Corey Fledman will roast in everlasting hell fire for his career.
Jodphurs> I learned that rapists really care about their victims and are sad when the victims die
THX-1138EB> I learned what I want to do as a graduate research project - were-lizards.
BryanL> I learned that as long as there is a Sci Fi Channel, there will be bad movies.
tubesocked> I learned that it's nice to yell" KOOOZZZZMAAAAN" every so often.
cthulhu> I also learned that the noble lizard will be the model for America's future fightingman.
Ironf> I learned they recast Alien with the Mortal Kombat players
BryanL> I learned to go for the throat.
Balthayzr> I learned that crazed killers are really people we should care about. Or experiment with, I forget.
KevinL> I learned how to point a gun.
tubesocked> I learned that Parker Stevenson is the best damn Parker Stevenson on this continent.
Balthayzr> I learned acting. Watch.Balthayzr> AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
tubesocked> I also learned that pointing and yelling can really pad a movie out.
cthulhu> I learned it's NOT a good idea to leave a hit TV show just to star in an SFC original movie.
