LOW OCCUPANCY
Ironf> Ahh American-International.Ironf> They do good stuff I hear.
BEMaven> Nancy Sinatra and Francis X. Bushman. My boyhood fantasy.
Ironf> Little Red Riding DEATH!
BEMaven> She's the sexiest Red Death I've ever seen.
Ironf> Ahh Karloff in his goofy days.
LazyRider> he's not a very good corpse.
Ironf> I think we all were hoping for a different interpretation of invisible bikini in this.
Bice> Wow, Tommy Kirk *and* Basil Rathbone. How did MST3K miss this one...
BEMaven> lookout, a bulimic oil painting.
Ironf> Oh yeah, Kirk, Rathbone, Karloff, and a Sinatra.
LazyRider> Murtle "Four-Bush"?
LazyRider> Don't they usually use people with comedic talent in comedies?
Ironf> Is Tommy Kirk dead yet?
Bice> The NRA party bus.
Djenk> We're not scared! We're just stupid!!
Djenk> Apparently Ken Kesey and an NRA convention had to share the same double decker.* Plumm has joined.
Ironf> "Hey come on gang, Geronimo!"
Plumm> recap me
Bice> Oh joy, it's a musical.
Ironf> Plumm, it's Kirk, Rathbone, and Sinatra are heirs to Karloff, who's dead with the Ghost that wears the bikini.
Plumm> sinatra?
Djenk> Nancy Sinatra.
Bice> The world's spazziest surf band.
LazyRider> I hear that Native Americans love this song.
Djenk> Please, lets have Geroni-less....
Bice> The sci-ance?
Ironf> Anyway, Karloff was the boyfried of the ghost. She died long ago cause she was a carnie. She stopped aging, but karloff is old. If he does a good dead, he'll become young again.
* Djenk wishes they would jack up the incidental music a little more, drown out the dialogue.
LazyRider> Why was Tommy Kirk popular?
Ironf> Strange place for a toilet.
BEMaven> A lot of teenage boys didn't want to come out of the closet, Rider.
Plumm> It's that small wormy greasy guy from old crappy movies.
Ironf> Ahh all the bikini movies were interveaved.
Ironf> Buster Keaton!BEMaven> Interweaved, ironf? more like inbred.
Ironf> nope, it's Benny Rubin.
BEMaven> Buster was busy on a project with more dignity: 'a funny thing happened on the way to the forum.'
LazyRider> Looks more like "pooped on" then "lived in".
Ironf> These all were more or less filmed whenever, then joined with songs from around a swimming pool.
BEMaven> hip replacements were so primitive back then.
* Djenk trying desperately to assemble something resembling a plot from this mishmash.
Plumm> What the hell is this movie?
BEMaven> Plumm, you may have to recap us.
Djenk> Hell, I've read Ionesco plays that made more sense than this film....
Ironf> Bobby, are you..umm orally challenged?
Ironf> ingregents?
Plumm> Would you like me to bend over the antique furniture?
Bice> "Bobby, you're not drinking." That's a line I didn't hear in college much.
Ironf> "I have 20/20/20 hearing, and I don't hear a thing."
Plumm> He has pre-Sweet Dear Aunt oozings.
Djenk> You'd think a murderous psycopathic teenage siren would invest in contacts.
Ironf> Groove thing shaking, right ho!LazyRider> This is a Movie Classic?
BEMaven> hard of hearing...and singing.
Ironf> Imagine this, she was in a movie called Cry of the Banshee.
Plumm> WOW, HE'S BEATING HIMSLEF OFF.
Ironf> Konga!
Bice> And the "every wacky 60s movie must have someone in a gorilla suit" law holds true.
LazyRider> The "Girl in the Invisible Bikini" isn't helping much.
BEMaven> it may be a crap movie..but the neither the boys or girls are overdressed.
Djenk> Since when did Carmen join a biker gang?
Plumm> We're just like Russia and China now. Get me some vodka, coolie girl.
BEMaven> go ride your phantom planet, gramps.
Bice> It's always convienient to carry a clown hammer with one at all times.
Djenk> You know, that fake slavic accent really sets the whole number off......
Bice> She almost stayed sober for this role.
Plumm> Pick me up some Depends, honey.
LazyRider> Make the music pretty?
BEMaven> shouldn't they be playing in a haunted garage?
Bice> It's like a musical, comedy, beach movie and horror flick collided and all the good parts cancelled each other out.Plumm> It's a song that means, "Ladies, please shave some down there."
LazyRider> Let me guess...she pushes the statue off.
BEMaven> the hell, was there a slide whistle in that falling statue?
Ironf> plop.
Djenk> (Church Lady mode) A lightning storm! HOW conveeeen-ient (/mode)
BEMaven> 12 bongs in the ear? What a perv.
Ironf> He was the model for The Fonz, ya know.
Bice> Did he really just say "give her the finger, boss"?
BEMaven> you mean Fonzie Bear, IronF?
Plumm> Buddy there fists all the members of his gang.
Djenk> So these folks are apparently as smart as the Ravonous Bugblatter Beast of Trall.
Ironf> It's all about carnies I tell ya.
BEMaven> "it'll clear up tomorrow". His complexion?
BEMaven> "the guys are little crowded over there in the other bed"?....
Djenk> BE: Don't go there....
Ironf> Just let it go, BEM.
Djenk> There's a skull, in your head, protecting that vacuum you call a brainPlumm> Dude, BEM, Tommy Kirk is Ironf's bitch. don't distress him so.
Ironf> Karloff is playing the Price role from the 13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo.
BEMaven> all they need is the lugribrious serial killer in a multi-color sheath dress.
Ironf> Now they can screw without worry of pregnancy.
BEMaven> i asked for the oily guy, not the Eye Creature.
Plumm> From Leonard Maltin's Movie & Video Guide.
Plumm> Seventh (and final) BEACH PARTY movie failed to provide a shot in the arm with entirely new set of characters (save Lembeck's Eric Von Zipper); larger-than-usual roster of veteran movie greats might attract masochistic film buffs. Panavision.
Plumm> *1/2
BEMaven> ahh, the aztec mummy. now bring on the Wrestling Women.
Plumm> Aha. Lembeck was in Sgt Bilko. I knew I recognized him from something
Bice> So when do they find the boss key to finish this level? (sorry, been playing too much Zelda lately...)
Ironf> This movie needs more bathroom scenes.
Bice> This movie needs more invisible bikinis. I'm quite disappointed with the one we got so far.
Plumm> What a lamoid.
Ironf> no, it needs see-thru, not invisible.
BEMaven> that is the queeriest ax I ever saw. did he borrow it from John Milius?
Ironf> You know, someone had to approve all of these takes.
Bice> Even scarier - someone had to pay for all these takes.
BEMaven> someone they had to drag out of the gutter?
Ironf> Even worse, we are paying to watch and talk about it.
Plumm> Is she a goer, eh? Does she go?BEMaven> see that? the Aztec Mummy was dressed by Landsdown.
Ironf> I guess Bud Costello was dead or had something better to do, right?
Plumm> They wet themsleves. Don't they know Hagbard Celine says Never Whistle While you're Pissing.
BEMaven> both, IronF.
Ironf> "I think this is the rompus room."
BEMaven> judging from the way that wall crumbled, he built the chamber of horrors out of crackers.
Ironf> It's made of yak hair. I've seen Cats 437 times.
my-crow-soft> oooo how kinky... i mean you got leather... dungeon, torture, toys, inflatable/solid stuff... chicks, guys, byis
BEMaven> and gorilla suits, crow-soft. you need the gorilla suits for this.
Ironf> That guy in the monkey costume looks like he's carring a load in his pants.
my-crow-soft> ohh definitely, otherwise it's just not a stag party.
BEMaven> he is. the director locked himself in the only bathroom on the set.
my-crow-soft> ooo.. how fetish, power tools.
BEMaven> a table saw? must be Tim Allen's Chamber of Horrors.
Bice> Gotta love those lighthearted, wacky attempted murderers.
BEMaven> and the heroes with their girl fights.
Ironf> That blade's a bit wobbly.BEMaven> so's the cast, IronF.
Ironf> Way to switch between "lev-er" and "leav-er" there Karloff. I'm sure that accent isn't a put on at all. AT ALL.
Bice> Instead of just pulling the lever, why don't they go UNTIE THE FRIGGIN GIRL?
Bice> Mrs Bice notes that the sawdust keeps disappearing out of the girl's cleavage with each shot.
Ironf> Well in the early days, they used sawdust instead of silicon.
BEMaven> the stagehand were all too happy to help between takes, Mrs. Bice.
Ironf> Anyone elses picture a bit screwy?
BEMaven> so Basil was transfigured into a Terry Gilliam cartoon. is that justice?
Ironf> Groove out.
Plumm> finally, movie end.
my-crow-soft> did i miss something ?
Ironf> no, not really.
Bice> And these movies were once popular. Says more about my parent's generation than I really wanted to know.
BEMaven> Boris Karloff as the corpse. Typecasting.
BEMaven> Oh yeah, Bice. You can't blame them for Power Rangers.
Plumm> Filmed in PATHETICOLOR.
"We should have a walkie talkie."
Balthayzr> Another one was something like Teen Terror Night or something. I'll have to look it up....
