SIT, UBU, SIT. GOOD DOG. 
mgrasso> -the dog. man's best friend through out history. think about it, won't you?Balthayzr> The Canine History Channel.
dungarees> All Wishbone all the time
bowleg> Emax, providing quality max since 1983.
mgrasso> ally sheedy's chin: a weapon for good... or evil?
Balthayzr> I didn't know they made female Leisure Suits.
Balthayzr> Remember, Sheedy, the makeup yer wearing was tested there.
dungarees> Will you look? The fiend is DRIVING a jaguar!
Balthayzr> Oh, yes. Who cares about people starving and WW3? Animals are hurting!!
Jamie> "The Vivisection Industry"??!!!!
Balthayzr> So, only the cute animals get rescued. As usual.
Balthayzr> "I know I've been torturing you for years, Max, but be a good doggy...."
bowleg> man, Lance trying to control a dog. This is what good cinema is all about.
THX-1138> Max! I feel your pain! It's my gift! It's my curse!
mgrasso> max, superdog. he can chase down criminal faster than a normal dog, hump more legs than any normal dog
dungarees> I don't fucking beleive she just compared this to a concentration camp
* mgrasso shivers at the concentration camp reference
bowleg> I'm not going to be able to take this Ally Sheed/Dog/Videography nonsense
mgrasso> why is there a skeleton in the shower?
mgrasso> oh.
Balthayzr> Oh, sure. Don't tape the shower scene.
dungarees> She calls showering with the dog ethical treatment of animals?bowleg> so this is why Ally Sheedy is currently wallowing in the tar pits of obscurity.
Balthayzr> Oh, please. I can't take the steaminess of this scene.
mgrasso> man's best friend? more like "man's best ticket to sexual frustration..."
bowleg> well, I'll just curl up with a box of kleenex and the latest issue of Gay Boys in Bondage, then.
THX-1138> Mom, doggy's being a dildo.
Jamie> Animal testing must be ended since it leads to movies like these.
* Jamie wishes the dog would kill Ally McBeal while he's at it.
* dungarees could live with a kill all Ally's policy
bowleg> A young Ralph Macchio in a role that will decieve you.
BillBear> Fred not-really-that-savage
dungarees> Ok, if the dog pulls the kid into the path of a semi, would that be cool?
Balthayzr> Oh, yes. let's be concerned about the dogs well-being. He might choke on a mailman or something.
dungarees> If the dog eats the cat, I'm reporting this movie to someone really important
* bowleg roots for the cat
mgrasso> who will win? it's a celebrity deathmatch!
BillBear> I'm still waiting for definitive proof that Ally Sheedy is a woman.
dungarees> Maybe Max will tie a rubberband around Ally's beau's balls and wait for them to fall off...
BillBear> I'm guessing that any minute now Number 5 is gonna show up and fry Max.
mgrasso> max, max, if you're going to woo some chippy, at least offer aa job at the pentagon
Jamie> This is gonna be like that short story by Niven about Superman getting laid, ain't it.
THX-1138> Movie = hydrantdungarees> So, Balth, would you call that chlamydia or herpes from the corrsion factor?
BillBear> So...did the doctor find some Alien dna to splice Max with too?
mgrasso> the power, the efficiency, the corrsoive urine
BillBear> I think his diet is just too high in manganese.
Jamie> now, a mailman I don't mind being eaten by the dog.
Jamie> next time, spray the mace in his EYES, Newman!
mgrasso> he likes pepper spray. 12 different kinds of nutrients for athe growing mutant hellbeast
BillBear> Cue the chariots of fire theme.
Balthayzr> The reviews of The Postman are in!
Jamie> meanwhile, Lance Henrickson gets pushed around by wussy security guards.
dungarees> So he's feeding him rat poison...does this mean that Max's secretary and two other employees are going to tie Max up and run the business?
mgrasso> 4 out of 5 psychotic boyfriends choose poison brand
bowleg> and our good friend, Brooklyn Doughy Guy
Q> flabby doughy guys eating. that's why i watch movies
dungarees> Is Lance sucking his soul out through his temples?
* Q urges ally to reconsider her cereal bowl as the pattern for her haircuts
Balthayzr> Quick, Sheedy's doing an emotion! Get tape rolling for her tryout reel!
dungarees> Who the hell is this child that wanders in and starts going through peoples' kitchens?
Jamie> who is this kid, and why hasn't ally been prosecuted under Meghan's law for his frequent visits?
bowleg> When you try to poison a dog, you better be prepared to finish what you've started.
Ironf> no that didn't look fake at all.
dungarees> Important note: never hide behind a full length mirrorBillBear> So Max sucker punched him?
bowleg> I'm dead now, please. Please, don't poison. I'm dead now.
Balthayzr> Max dargs him out to the center of the ring and puts on the Figure 4!
* bowleg is still trying to recover from the pissing scene
Q> great, after they shoot him, all the dogs in la are gonna riot
THX-1138> Animal Control - shot on location with the men and women of animal enforcement
bowleg> Suddenly, "Strays" is a richly nuanced masterpiece.
Ironf> Where is Kolchak when you need him.
dungarees> Ally...you've been seeing other breeds, haven't you?
cthulhu> [Sulu]Klingon War Dog decloaking off starboard bow Captain.[Sulu]
dungarees> ?????the hell? He's a shapeshifter now?
cthulhu> Max has got KITT's turbo boost.
bowleg> man, why couldn't Sheedy have died?
THX-1138> Is this the part when the Scanners come out of the basement to blow up heads?
Q> jeez, just give him about a bajillion scooby snacks and he'll calm down
Q> so, sam raimi's dog directed this. interesting.
cthulhu> Look Lady, all I need for you to do is take this nail out of my paw, that's what driving me so nuts.BillBear> Three months later...Ally is missing her period and developing cravings for puppy chow.
bowleg> Max was tried in Los Angeles county superior court and did 3 months community service. The end.
dungarees> Narn puppy! For FREEDOM!
Balthayzr> So, what did we learn?
dungarees> I learned that I hate Ally Sheedy more than Lea Thompson
Q> i learned that missing more than half of this was a good thing, even if i did miss some very cute puppy shots
bowleg> I learned that booze can't make giant evil dog movies watchable.
cthulhu> I learned that households pets and bionics just don't mix.
THX-1138> I learned breaking into a genetics lab, stealing a dog that's being used in tests, and keeping it as a pet might not be a wise idea.
BillBear> I learned that cats aren't really part of a complete and healthy diet.
Balthayzr> I learned that housebreaking a dog that pisses acid is a GOOD idea.
bowleg> I learned that Ally Sheedy shouldn't star in any movie, ever, for any reason. Same goes for her haircut.
Jamie> I learned that the pain of recent HGs has rendered me uninspired and weak in my riffing.
BillBear> I learned that when you're being chased by evil demon dogs, clutch a puppy protectively to your breast for luck.
THX-1138> I learned Lance likes to star in movies with crazy beasts that have acidic body fluids.Ironf> I learned that the last 30 min were still pretty painful. That and I should thank Turner and McMahon for making wrestling stay on till 10 central.
Q> i learned that having bishop in your movie cannot salvage it
Balthayzr> No animal was harmed in the making of this film. However, we did fuck up their careers.
