X143 DEEPSTAR 6 (6/24/98)

MOVIE
Movie like these are almost all the same. People go underwater, mess with something that they shouldn't, then get in trouble from it. In the instance they did something that most everyone would do. They found some Vodka and decieded to drink it. Unfortunatly, it had some alien special sauce in it and it started turning the crew into a giant puppet thing with tentacles. Thank goodness that Nia Peebles was there along with Greg "My Two Dads" Evian. They seem to "save" the movie. Anyway, all the people that drank the booze start turning and killing other people. Towards the end, they join together in the form of a giant crab thingie that's best not talked about here. In case you couldn't tell, I'm just trying to fill a bit of space here. Sorry to be taking up your time like this, but this log was a bit lean and I didn't have anything else to put in here except this. I'll move along now I guess and I suggest that you do the same.

POP THE HATCH
dungarees> Are we inside a lava lamp?
mgrasso> and... the fantastic voyage crew reaches the vas deferens
dungarees> Is that BJ of BJ and the Bear fame?
mgrasso> or paul reiser's lover.
Ironf> Paul Reiser was the bear
dungarees> Why is Greg wearing a Rollie Fingers mustache over his own?
mgrasso> miguel ferrer, greg evigan, that russian guy. star STUDDED!
mgrasso> you know, a lot of people don't know that the sub models in deepstar 6 are actually submarine sandwiches from subway.
dungarees> Ok, we have fake beard over real beard, mutton chops, and amish beard...it's facial hair hell.
Ironf> Every sub needs a bit of soul
THX-1138> British people are so funny with their stuck up attitudes and accents.
Plumm> He's not.. SAILING THE SEVEN SEAS!
Ironf> He's not... PROTECTING THE MOTHER LAND!
Plumm> He's not. . . DOING AS HE PLEASES!, right?
mgrasso> van gelder? what an unfortunate heritage.
mgrasso> how do you geld a van, anyway?
Ironf> Put a tight rubber band on it's tailpipe
mgrasso> gosh, aliens? underwater? what a novel concept!
THX-1138> Thank you Yakov Smirnoff
mgrasso> wow. this movie is really just daring me to watch and/or understand it
Ironf> Damn people from Atlantis should learn to drive a sea-horse before getting out in the ocean
dungarees> Greg is like those post-pubescent Ken dolls where you could draw hair on with a marker and then 'shave' it off
dungarees> Do we WANT to know the significance of the wiggling stick?
Plumm> John Williams actually scored this while drowning.
Ironf> Now back to Seaquest: Deep Pee Vessel
THX-1138> That's an awfully clean wife beater shirt.
Ironf> It hasn't been through it's first beat down yet
THX-1138> Structural deficiency? Is that what the women are calling it these days
Plumm> It's got the tunnels, but there may be too much light to qualify for an SFC original.
dungarees> Is there any reason that Spalding Grey was just jutting his buttock at the back of Greg's head?
Ironf> Those suits can't do that to them! WE MADE YOU!
Ironf> Does a strobe light really help in their situation?
THX-1138> And then later they'll be that part when they shock the monster with paddles
Ironf> Is he going out to wife-beat the monster?
THX-1138> They clearly ripped this off from Airport 77
THX-1138> Imagine, someone actually said, "Cut and print, that was prefect" for that scene.
THX-1138> And let's guess, the monster isn't dead and attacks them at the surface.
dungarees> Well, that was a less than triumphant 'emergence' if you know what I mean.
THX-1138> And Truman sails by in the background.
dungarees> And Gamera kills them all, thus securing his title as Guardian of the Universe
Ironf> Urine containment breached!

GLUG, GLUG

"My eggs are cold"
"Holy SHOOT I don't FREAKIN' believe it!"
"I gottcher nice day right here!"
"Welcome to ground zero."
"I knew we were naked."
"Patch into my pants?"