FANG-SPLOITATION 
Dungarees> Movie Sign!Dungarees> PETER!
Ironf> What wonderful crap movies they make.
Ironf> I'm betting Garrett Morris actually saves this movie.
* mgrasso switches from "from dusk till dawn" to this crappy vampire movie
Melcocha> Mike: What's the difference?
mgrasso> this one doesn't have salma hayek, mellie
Dungarees> This score isn't by Danny Elfman, by any change, is it?
Ironf> Anytown = Allburg
Dungarees> Ta tas!
Ironf> JUGS!
Dungarees> That's PETER as a child looking at Ta Tas
mgrasso> garrett morris *is* garrett morris... sadly enough
Ironf> GARRETT NOOOOOOOOOOOO
mgrasso> wow. the death toll is already at one
Dungarees> God doesn't like vagrants, apparently
mgrasso> ah crap. he's alive.
Dungarees> Sally Struthers: the post booze years
Ironf> Can't talk, gotta go whore.
mgrasso> the religious imagery in this movie strikes a chord deep within me
Dungarees> Catholic much?
mgrasso> the millennium group coffee klatch
Dungarees> Greg Brady gets in touch with his real self
mgrasso> uh, girls? you're supposed to confess to a priest?
Dungarees> It's a vagina within a vagina within a vagina
mgrasso> it's the sewer from "it." where's tim curry?
Ironf> I'm sure that water is safe to swallow while swimming.
mgrasso> what is that? snuffleupagus' aquatic twin?
Dungarees> It's snufflenessiepus, mgrasso
Melcocha> Judging by that hop, she just met the right guy
mgrasso> well, if they kill a main character this early on, it must be a good movie
Dungarees> So rather than sucking blood, these children of the night emit piss?
Dungarees> That's PETER's voice!
mgrasso> meanwhile, the kiddie room of the library is overrun with vampires
Dungarees> PETER!
Dungarees> In CUTE glasses!
* Dungarees swoons
mgrasso> hey! he looks like me!
* mgrasso laughs
mgrasso> <--- one of the many italian loads with cleft chins, apparently
Dungarees> What is with the Dr. Scholl's cam?
mgrasso> why are we looking at her facial stretch marks?
Dungarees> So is Mommy Dearest Jack Nicholson or Jeri Hall?
mgrasso> byers, catholic priest
Melcocha> Here's to Jesus!
mgrasso> *clink*
mgrasso> he's a priest AND a geek?
mgrasso> sad, really.
mgrasso> 'rees, we know you were the one who lured PETER away from the seminary. admit it.
Dungarees> I'm afraid the odious Gina Nemo had that honor
Dungarees> This priest has some Heston in him. I can smell it on him.
Dungarees> So they actually are acquatic vampires.
mgrasso> lung-shaped whoopie cushions?
mgrasso> i'm not really getting this. her lungs are outside her body, but linked to a strange odious mass on the bed?
mgrasso> and she eats leeches?
Dungarees> Well, this is all coming together evolutionarily speaking, isn't it?
Melcocha> Can't you see I'm blinking earnestly?
* mgrasso puts from dusk till dawn back on
Dungarees> I like the liver shaped peep hole
Dungarees> This movie is wackymgrasso> oh, i get it! the golf ball was the center of her vampirism... the hell?
Dungarees> Peter drives a big manly impala.
Ironf> Dog watered, cat fed, clothes put in dryer. Did they introduce anything new about the vamps, like they lose all thier powers if they see the color red?
mgrasso> no, but they do have a weakness for pre-kill bon mots
Dungarees> That cop SO wants to be Laurie Metcalf
Dungarees> I really think that Ami is not living up to her work on General Hospital here.
mgrasso> wow. she sounds like mr. hankey
Melcocha> Mr. Hankey *IS* Wayne *IN* Children of the Night
Melcocha> All the vampires in this movie talk like Sylvester.
mgrasso> kenneth branagh's lost boys
mgrasso> hey, wait, ir recognize her! it's fiona apple!
Dungarees> No no no, it's Sheryl Crowe
Dungarees> So instead of having elongated canines, they jam skewers up their gums? That's kind of like being damned for all time.
mgrasso> they're os lucky they didn't have to act face-to-face. make sit easier to read the cue cards
mgrasso> meanwhile, peter continues doing mostly nothing
Dungarees> Are they birthin' babies? What the hell is giong on in there?
Dungarees> PETER, sweetie, baby, love, you know I think you're the best, but is this really the time to go on an areola hunt?
Dungarees> How about something randy from Song of Songs, Frank?
Melcocha> And the priest takes a break to play "airplane"
Ironf> ACTION PETER!
* Dungarees applauds
mgrasso> action peter! he sweats! he brushes his hair!
Ironf> The kid's a vamp.
* Dungarees calls that peeping tom is the head vamp
* Dungarees really should go to bed, but this movie is just too wacky and PETERiffic
Dungarees> you must admit, whatever PETER's character's faults, he looks like FDR compared to this priest
mgrasso> it's maximum overdrive meets salem's lot
mgrasso> marilyn monroe.... 10 years after her own death
Dungarees> It's a vampire jamboree
mgrasso> oh, for fun! undead bingo!
Dungarees> This is officially my favorite HG movie EVER!
Ironf> Hey where is Al when you need him?
Melcocha> Trojan Man Theater presents...
mgrasso> ok. enough elderly midwestern tongues
Ironf> I bet Garrett is the head
Ironf> Aheh Goofy PETER!
Dungarees> So PETER just sunk his last stake?
* Dungarees hums "I hate myself for lovin' you"
mgrasso> he blowed up lame
Dungarees> It *IS* Maximum Overdrive!
mgrasso> told ya
MrBooze> Okay, I know very little about what's happening, but ten bucks says Garrett Morris is a vampire before this ends.
Dungarees> PETER SIGN
mgrasso> raw charisma coming from these three actors
Melcocha> Children of the Night, filmed by a local news cameraman
MrBooze> Zip a dee doo dahhhh, zip a dee DIE!
Ironf> And he would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids.
Dungarees> I don't mean to complain, but I think he could lodge his grievances with the director OFF screen!
Dungarees> IS this officially an Arachnophobia crossover now?
Melcocha> Richard Simmons has gotten really extreme...
MrBooze> Virgin?
Dungarees> She's been a VERY good girl
Ironf> I guess one of us will have to do her.
Ironf> Garrett starts to unzip.
MrBooze> Virgin blood is like bottled water to the vampires, just one of those annoying trends.Dungarees> I think we should play rock paper scissors for her cherry
Melcocha> The sheets! The blue one is the head vampire!
MrBooze> Vampires really shouldn't use the word "tummy".
Dungarees> Don't you want to live to have sex?
MrBooze> Red Foxx once called me "Enis"!
Ironf> Garrett is my shining beacon in this movie, much like PETER is to Pants.
dungarees> If this doesn't emphasize the dangers of chewing tobacco to today's youth, I don't know what will
Ironf> did he say "enis"?
MrBooze> Mmm...that's fresh lungy goodness.
MrBooze> Gimme some sugar, baby!
MrBooze> Will THIS be the end of PETER?
dungarees> Noooo!
Ironf> PETER always did need Johnny Depps help.
* dungarees tries to crawl into the screen to save PETER
dungarees> screw that, Johnny Depp was a load extraordinaire!
MrBooze> Jeez, you'd think they'd learn to just bite first, lick later.
dungarees> Electric Youth!
Ironf> And PETER contemplates committing a felony.
* MrBooze waits for the SURPRISE endding.
MrBooze> Gosh, could they be...VAMPIRES?
dungarees> Priest/Postal worker....interesting message
Ironf> So he cleaned up while PETER and the girl are still crappy looking?
MrBooze> That's cause PETER and the girl just made hot monkey love.
dungarees> SHUT UP!
Ironf> So learned?
dungarees> I learned that PETER is ever so fine
Ironf> I learned that Garrett Morris can save a town and a movie.
MrBooze> I learned ramming a church with an electric cross makes a pretty cool lightshow.
MrBooze> I learned I'll be very happy when I don't hear "Hackers of the world unite" every 3 minutes.
