DAMN FOREIGNERS 
Bice> Water, the source of all monster movies.
THX-1138> And by Giant, we mean slightly larger than a breadbox
Trademark> Starring people with "almost" names.
ReaperG> And the Lord said, "Let there be stop-motion animation!"
Trademark> 'And the Lord said, "Blow things up real good."'
mcorley> David Lettermen on nuclear phsyics.
THX-1138> It's Dustin Hoffman and he wants to touch your diseased monkey
BEMaven> this scientist has a Howdy-Dowdy mouth.
EJ> Walt Disney also agrees.
Bice> Panikus. Roman god of panicking.
mcorley> this was the start of the WTO protest.
BEMaven> 'someone threw another perfectly good baby into the sea.'
EJ> fish heads, fish heads, yummy yummy fish heads.
Bice> They're playing darts. The guy in the hat was playing goalie.
Trademark> Jesus. Who'd have thought there was a B-list William Sylvester?
mcorley> He can store a half-yard of beer in that chin divit.
EJ> I'm dead now. Don't fish.
ReaperG> "I loved my dead gay fisherman"
Bice> I swear, whoever wrote the bible was on acid.
THX-1138> The bible? Who reads that crap?
mgrasso> featuring big daddy bodean's truck... the behweamoth
Trademark> Always touch the unfamiliar organism.
Trademark> The behemoth is sneaky. Canceling reservations, ordering pizzas, etc.
THX-1138> Does everything have to be about Hiroshima with you?!
Trademark> Were they distributing opium on the set?
Bice> A passing ship dropped acid? That explains a lot.
THX-1138> Go get your own Phish album, you dirty bastards
BEMaven> 'want to see me wittle my wooden leg?'
Trademark> Flipper? Is he a thalidomide baby?
Bice> This is one of those monster movies where we don't get to see the monster 'til the very end, isn't it?
EJ> wow, liquid latex and cornflakes! how icky
ReaperG> Radiation? You're soaking in it
THX-1138> Behemothian Rhapsody?
mcorley> The moral of the story, don't go touching every shiny thing you see.
Trademark> Touching behemoths makes your skin go bad. How many times have we heard that.
EJ> touching your behemoth will cause hair to grow on your palms.
THX-1138> The guy has powerful radioactive sperm. Is it so wrong that he burned his hand after masturbating?!
Mellie> revel in the noble splendor of my distant gaze
Bice> It's Dr. Honeydew!
EJ> meep meep meep MEEP!
THX-1138> Dupont scientists working to find new ways to make BOOOOZE!
mgrasso> there is a lot of fervent dial-twiddling going on in that lab.
EJ> Ned is the lab's tart.
ReaperG> "Not tonight dear, I've got a splitting haddock"
mcorley> Why are we donig this? Oh, for the Halibut...
ReaperG> This script is floundering
Ironf> Did the fish get paid scale?
Trademark> Sinker the puns, please.
Ironf> Please do not stare directly into the fish.
Bice> Hey, there's laws against fish exposing themselves.
THX-1138> And today's Iron Chef theme ingredient is radioactive fish!
mcorley> He's cutting open Dr. Z!
Ironf> Fugu's up.
mcorley> God *everyone* wants to touch radiation in this film.
THX-1138> Plate 14...but sir, that's my Star Trek Collector's plate.
EJ> I have to disagree with the movie about the dramaticness of these scenes.
EJ> contrary to the music.
mcorley> Yes, as much as it insists on being dramatic, we must respectfully disagree.
Ironf> I'm telling you, they got a deal on musical stings. They bought from Bulkrose. He's expanding.
Bice> It's the amazing farting fish.
THX-1138> Why does the geiger counter say "milliamps" on it?
EJ> Hi, I'm the monstah fish, bleh bleh bleh.
Ironf> It has a good beat and I can dance to it. I gave it a 57 Dick.
ReaperG> They're gonna need a bigger boat
BEMaven> not like a geiger counter to panic like that.
THX-1138> Doctor, why do your fingers smell like dead fish?
Trademark> Gorton's doesn't want to get involved in any international monster issues.
BEMaven> "they sound as if they mean it."... i take it the Coast Guard usually prefers to heckle seaman.
EJ> I wonder why a pissed off radioactive fish would come all the way from the pacific to pick on the british...oh yes, because they're WUSSIES!
Mellie> radioactive fish love their fey-boy dance music, jen. that's why. all it wants is depeche mode's autograph
Ironf> It was the goo from a glowstick YOU LYING BASTARD! You were just getting extra funding. I find that most bad form old gent.
mcorley> Good God, if we can kill a fish of that size, our Fish and Chips needs will be met for a year!
mgrasso> that's french for "Flee! for the love of brie, flee!"
Trademark> Oh yeah, let's alert the French. They'll be a big help...
EJ> zut alors.
mcorley> Oh yeah, a frenchman with a fire arm, like I believe that.
Trademark> This is an alternate timeline where Morrisey was killed by the behemoth.
THX-1138> He's so long he can suck his own tail, just because he can
BEMaven> actually, it was a real dinky dinosaur with incredibly huge feet.
Trademark> This is not protocol. First they should establish the Ministry for Investigation of Redundantly Named Monsters.
Ironf> New Crystal Fog, from Pepsi.
ReaperG> "This is Bob 'The real Giant Behemoth is in Milton Berle's pants' Hope"
EJ> London Bridge is being destroyed, being destroyed, london bridge is being destroyed by a radioactive monster!
mcorley> And make sure to let the Behemoth kill some American Tourists, then we can let them come in and do all the work.
Trademark> o/~ The monster started getting rough, the model ship was tossed... o/~!
Mellie> When Rubber Attacks!
mgrasso> hah! the french merchant marine did the nestea plunge!
Ironf> It's the tea party all over, except it's not in Boston, not tea, and not people dressed as indians.
Bice> This won the British Oscar for Best Use of the Word Fiddlesticks.
Trademark> 'We will fight it on the land, in the matte paintings, and in the aquariums.'
Ironf> Finally they get off their ass and call Mr. Limpet
mcorley> ... And the British attack with their primary weapon, Cucumber Sandwiches!
EJ> good thing they haven't updated their equipment since 1919
THX-1138> And the british army goes door to door cracking down on people without TV licenses
Trademark> Martial law in Britain means *strict* enforcement of tea time.
mcorley> Only the piccalo can show such horror and suspense.
mgrasso> there's a picture of barney taking a shit on the wall there.
Mellie> is he pooping, or giving birth to a bird?
THX-1138> They just need to feed it a billion apples because the seeds are poisonous
BEMaven> Gentleman Prefer Bombs.
EJ> get out of my dreams, monster, and into my car.
Ironf> With all this talk of penetrating and deep inside the beast, I think this is the long lost prequel to Anal-Conda.
EJ> as the monster rises from the water like a japanese dildo
Trademark> 'The behemoths responsible for the terror have been sacked.'
Bice> Now I see why they didn't show the monster at all during the first hour.
BEMaven> hey, the Behemoth is goose-stepping.
mgrasso> brits don't panic as well as japanese.
Mellie> aw, jeez! he's crushing my matchbox car collection.
BEMaven> jeez, the British are so blase about panicking.
THX-1138> You'd think the Brits would have good running away scenes from all the wars
Mellie> i wish they had used those little green army men in lieu of panicky people. especially the ones who are crawling and on the phonoe
mcorley> quick, one inch bullets into the 150 ft monster, that always works!
mgrasso> you know, british men will use any excuse to fall down and roll on each other.
Trademark> This must have been when Chamberlain was PM. Churchill wouldn't have taken any monster guff.
THX-1138> HEre he comes, walking down the street...
BryanL> If you're running from a dinosaur, why would you stop at a building corner? Would you think you're -safe-?
mgrasso> you have to admit, though, this monster does have something different from all the others: a swirly radioactivity attack.
Mellie> damn the behemoth's strategic building mauling! he completely missed those people.
mgrasso> they're all rushing to get the new batch of kidney mush at the market!
THX-1138> They're all running away from the Behemoth's tainted love.
mgrasso> just fling marie curie at the monster.
BEMaven> they're playing Radioactive Rock, Pape, Scissors.
Trademark> Wallace loots, while Gromit marks the whole of London.
Mellie> oh, how cute. he wants his picture by big ben
Ironf> Have we seen the required frontal nudity from the monster that occurs in all British films?
BryanL> As bad as this movie was, I did enjoy Feldspar's fanfic where the Behemoth penetrated the 13-year-old schoolgirl with its head and neck.
mgrasso> i remember this scene from an almodovar film.
BryanL> It's amazing how much information could be gleaned from just one oscilloscope back in the 50's.
Bice> Yes, that's why they're trying to penetrate it with their missile.
BEMaven> 'oh, god. we're pleasuring the Behemoth!'
BryanL> They dropped the People's Warhead on him.
Trademark> 'So, the behemoth. Is he a goer?
nudge nudge wink wink>'
BryanL> They sure had minimalist expectations from their movies back then. These days, a movie like Deuce Bigelow, Male Gigolo, they put EFFORT into it.
EJ> well, today, I learned that the behemoth looks like one of them Japanese vibrators.
Mellie> complete with over-detailed anal attatchement, jen?
EJ> yes, Mellie...the anal invader looks like godzookie.