STOP-ACTION STOOGESCthulhu> I read the story this movie was based upon... all it was about was a dinosaur making out with a light house.
Mellie> did he get very far?
Cthulhu> Not really.
mgrasso> paul christian... i think he was in "reptilicus"
BEMaven1> BTW, 20,000 Fathoms = 120,000 feet
mgrasso> tidy-bol... the movie.
BEMaven1> The Beast From Liquid Plumber?
ReaperG> And don't forget, some Japanese filmmakers saw this and decided to make their own dinosaur movie... you know the rest
Mellie> lee van cleef!
ReaperG> Lee Van Cleef and Steve Brodie, this will be fun
mgrasso> "suggested by" ray bradbury.
Mellie> and the michael fox that forced the 80s version to add a j. stellar.
mgrasso> maurice de PAGH, the only klingon actor not to be blacklisted.
ReaperG> David Buttolph?
Mellie> "hey buttloaf!"
mgrasso> "operation.... experiment?"
thayer> 'operation experiment' are we sure this wasn't translated from japanese?
mgrasso> x-day?
mgrasso> where are the saucers?
Trademark> D-Day was already taken...
Ironf> People liked to use "X" back then alot.
BEMaven1> Operation Hypothesis was some guy dropping an M80.
Rolaid> Ator?
ReaperG> You know, TriStar didn't do a very good Godzilla movie, but they did a great remake of this one
mgrasso> ninjas of the north.
BEMaven1> the Deadly Military Liason
Cthulhu> The script...isn't ready.
Trademark> S-Second minus 2048...
Mellie> add a ceramic frog and we've got isabel allende sign.
ReaperG> They're in Hell after the Eagles reunion
mgrasso> i get the creeping suspicion we're going to have to wait about an hour for a monster, guys.
Ironf> It's not Marvel, is it Grasso?
mgrasso> well, no. but still.
Mellie> nah. we've already got the mushroom cloud.
BEMaven1> Nan-Nuked Of the North.
ReaperG> The biggest snowball fight of all
thayer> santa gave him a barbie for xmas, and now he's getting his revenge.
Mellie> and great herds of powdered sugar migrated from the north..
BEMaven1> gah. they blew up Santa's Workshop!
ReaperG> A foreign object? Did the ref see it?
Cthulhu> God Damn foreigners... why can't we have good old American objects!
mgrasso> they cut that guy open and sleep inside him when the winter hits.
Ironf> So, Hal Sparks had a movie career before the Soup.
BEMaven1> 'i don't know, sir... perhaps we need... RADAR
ReaperG> And the fallout spreads all over the globe, everyone dies, the end
mgrasso> i'm convinced that guy was in reptilicus.
Mellie> and now .. a fashion don't.
Trademark> Richie is wearing a comfortable flannel shirt, just $85 from J. Crew...
BEMaven1> his name is Nesbit and he has a French accent?
BEMaven1> Operation Experiment would have failed without The Equipment.
Trademark> This is the government base where new oil additives are tested.
mgrasso> what do you call three canadians copulating on a snowmobile? [/pemulis]
Cthulhu> Mmmmm... BBQ-ed Polar Bear.
Rolaid> All this, just to make it to Green Bay?
ReaperG> "This is the perfect place for our snow fort"
Cthulhu> Ahhhhh... The geiger counter... standard issue for B monster movies since 1951.
BEMaven1> it's all packed. why didn't we use Confectioners Sugar.
Mellie> what an inconvenient payphone
mgrasso> he's got viewmaster reels tucked away for winter!
BEMaven1> any mail in the box?
mgrasso> and we have monster!
Ironf> Early monster sign
mgrasso> he emits dry ice.
Mellie> i wish i had fur oven mitts like that guy.
Trademark> You know... if the whole movie is in stop motion, I won't care.
Cthulhu> Here Trotsky...Here Trotsky....
mgrasso> hey! get off the roof of the fortress of solitude!
Cthulhu> Gawngi! NO!!!!!!
mgrasso> hah!
Trademark> Long scream for such a short drop..
mgrasso> can i get a plop from the congregation?
Ironf> plop
Ironf> not bluescreened prospective at all, AT ALL
ReaperG> I guess dinosaurs were warm-blooded after all
Cthulhu> Then the wampas come and eat him... The End.
BEMaven1> he's standing by that box like he's waiting for a hooker.
ReaperG> Pretty rough day in the Land of Dairy Queen
Ironf> I fell off a bad chunk of plot. Help me man.
Mellie> here, let my gentle touch soothe you..
mgrasso> yes folks, we are not spared a moment of ice climbing.
Ironf> I heard this is what inspired them to make that Imax movie about ice climbing.
ReaperG> Meanwhile, it's about 90 degrees in that soundstage and they're wearing winter coats
Ironf> it's been on for 10 mins, but nothings happened expect this guy fell down and went boom
Mellie> he shot ol' yeller!
Robert> And a marathon breaks out.
BEMaven1> i don't think a warning shot is going to scare away an avalanche.
Ironf> Only Bing Crosby can save those men now.
mgrasso> give me 100 ccs of brylcreem, stat!
Mellie> they should put him in a swimsuit and pump him full of x-rays.
Cthulhu> Meahwhile in Gary, Indiana.
ReaperG> Bob Hartley Mental Hospital
Trademark> So all letterhead in the 50s was identical?
thayer> wow, he writes fast
mgrasso> a little bit of the undercrank longhand method, methinks.
ReaperG> "I feel like a rhedosaurus tried to step on me"
BEMaven1> oh, he's Nesbitt with 2 ts. that explains the French accent.
Robert> His Craftmatic adjustable bed saved his life.
Mellie> *and* he got a free pierre cardin radio!
Ironf> I'm a scientist you wormy, wormy little man. Don't make me crush you.
Cthulhu> o/~ Under pressure.... Pressure... o/~
mgrasso> hello, i'm colonel gay!
BEMaven1> 'you mean i wasn't struck on the head by a Charlie-In-The-Box?'
BEMaven1> who did they lose again during Operation Experiment? Major Load?
Trademark> Would you like to see your new baby now?
mgrasso> man, next time i see a lloigor, i'm MAKING my SAN check.
Cthulhu> Lost cause... we'll be lobotomizing him tomorrow.
Robert> Even in the pouring rain, he smokes his pipe.
mgrasso> yes, trust the gorton's fisherman.
mgrasso> and his wife, bruce.
Cthulhu> GOJRIA!!!!
ReaperG> TV's Frank!
mgrasso> lousy balsa wood sets.
ReaperG> o/~ the dino started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed o/~
mgrasso> the caption right now? [RARR]
Cthulhu> It's just a pool toy to him.
Robert> Rubber Reptile Rule No. 14: Rubber reptiles do not displace water.
BEMaven1> and the Hush Puppy harvest is left unfished.
thayer> ha ha. silly woman. can't understand anything but the comics.
mgrasso> here, we made this bacon and eggs using the latest geometrical technology!
Ironf> Is he suppossed to be swave with that accent or what?
TServo4> right where it belongs
Cthulhu> Remember how you ran away and I got one me knees to beg you not to leave because I'd go berserk?
mgrasso> here's your sedative... er, i mean orange juice!
Mellie> hospitals back then were so classy. not a flash of ass anywhere!
mgrasso> where's lee van cleef?
mgrasso> was he the nurse?
mgrasso> generic university.
thayer> ah, no monster movie is complete without a paleontologist
Ironf> Nice "sciencey" stuff in the background
Mellie> why aren't professers ever named billy-bob thursmond?
ReaperG> Mellie, there are, but they live in Arkansas and they hunt Boggy Creek critters
BEMaven1> did he eat that whole Mammoth?
Mellie> he's got a very george hamilton vibe
Mellie> "oh, don't mind me. i'm the token girl."
Ironf> Boy, I have a book about this in the basement, let's go down, down, down there and get it.
Trademark> Winter, millenia, what's the difference?
mgrasso> framing, folks. good framing.
BEMaven1> crazy eyes, crazy hands. he's French allright.
Ironf> Did he just say it sat around and ate itself?
ReaperG> Tasted like chicken
thayer> they ate the mammoths?
Cthulhu> The only thing they lacked was KC Masterpiece.
TServo4> she ate the meat?!
Robert> His hairpiece is made of that fur.
thayer> it took her all week to memorize that line
Mellie> she stole bugs bunny's pinting frock. how rude.
Ironf> Now, a little sumphan for the ladies
Mellie> bit of chest for the ladies..
mgrasso> martin mull as the doctor.
ReaperG> Art Bell: The Early Years
BEMaven1> this is before HMO. stay in the hospital all you want.
Trademark> Virginia Gold?
Ironf> Because you've come a long way saily.
Robert> "oh, I was just waiting for you to denigrate me."
Cthulhu> Mary Poppins PH.D.
Mellie> "oh yes! the chick with learnin'.. 'sup, pretty thang?"
BEMaven1> 'i thought i told you to just let in pretty boys.'
Ironf> I think Van Cleef did voice over for the beast.
Mellie> wow. then lee's great at saying, "rarr."
BEMaven1> heyyyy, Zorro looks kinda foxy. oh, wait.
mgrasso> that is one complicated hat.
Cthulhu> Any distingishing scars or scales?
mgrasso> ward and june hunt dinosaurs.
Ironf> And now, an artists rendering of the monster because our cameras were not allowed into the courtroom
Robert> He stole the lamp from his hospital room and brought it home.
Mellie> "look, honey, why don't you just slip out of those clothes, put on a swimsuit, and i pump you full of radiation, eh?"
BEMaven1> of course, you didn't know there were so many dinosaurs. you're just a man.
Ironf> Have a cigarette. The radio said they are good for calming your nerves and giving you a little pick-me-up. My doctor recommended them to me for my upcoming pregnancy.
Cthulhu> Come on... you and me on the floor... NOW!
BEMaven1> boy, is that guy's hair clenched.
ReaperG> my, I mean, not with you, of course, but sex is always a great idea
Mellie> he should show her his penetrating ray.
Pinwiz> And so, the Beast Wars prototypes are shown to focus groups
BEMaven1> yep. he's French. i heard him mutter 'fellatio'.
Mellie> hey, are those her mail artschool sketches?
Mellie> "how about this pirate turtle?"
mgrasso> mellie: she drew turty the turtle perfectly, so... onto the dinos.
BEMaven1> 'this picture is much more like it... except the dinosaur wasn't on a bicycle.'
Cthulhu> Oh great... we're going to Canada!
Robert> 244-771. That's almost a phone number down the street.
ReaperG> Stupid Canadians, with their stupid unfrozen dinosaurs
BEMaven1> 'hello. Canada. get me the French part. hello, French guys. get me that loon sailor.'
ReaperG> "Parlez vous francais, stupid American"
Mellie> un saffron du merde!
ReaperG> "Captain, what's the deal with Jerry Lewis and hairy women?"
Robert> "if you'd like to make a call, please dial 'un' ... "
Pinwiz> Wow, Canada's phone operator's nosy
ReaperG> Should've dialed 10-10-321
BEMaven1> 'i'm sorry. but as the phone operator of all of Canada, i must ask you to stop annoying our citizens.'
Robert> "I tried to tell him that many older people suffer some sea serpent incidents at some point ..."
Cthulhu> I can't tell you, since we Canadians are so much better than you Americans what with you lack of draconian gun control and socialized medicine!
Pinwiz> William Conrad and Christopher Reeves in "Love Letters"
mgrasso> pretty bad when the american sounds more quebecois than the canadian.
mgrasso> sister wendy!
mgrasso> that little sex-obsessed troll!
Mellie> oh, man, i'm having high school flashbacks
BEMaven1> he's gone to Yokohama with 'fifteen dollah.'
Robert> It's a Cavalcade of Accents!
Mellie> maybe lee van cleef is the nun.
Pinwiz> Why is he visiting the Mardwyn Undead?
mgrasso> this guy's from brooklyn and sault ste marie.
thayer> he wants you to come away with him
mgrasso> "he asked me he asked me!"
mgrasso> whoa!
mgrasso> lapels!
mgrasso> i didn't think they got that wide until '73 or so.
Ironf> So it's the 1870s
ReaperG> Huggy Bear only wished he had lapels like that
Robert> I don't wanna hear him talking about "joy of anticipation"
BEMaven1> she knows about his lapel fetish, the cunning minx.
mgrasso> he's got alan wu glasses!
Trademark> I've got a mental patient here to back up my story,..
thayer> the earth is round? what a great scientist he is!
Cthulhu> So you dragged him all the way from Canada to do what?
BEMaven1> 'ha. ha. you have to be a fey coke-crazed Frog to buy that story... oh, sorry, didn't see you.'
Robert> The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms provided this signed affidavit ... please follow along.
BEMaven1> 'that's the dinosaur... except it was wearing a ski mask.'
Robert> "that's the one I picked!" Good, give it away two seconds in.
ReaperG> Gary Busey?
mgrasso> busey's teeth are bigger.
Mellie> monsters are always so old.. how can they even rampage? i bet they whine about their achy hips and delicate digestion.
Ironf> It's said that Busey's teeth are actually what we live on and they are carried about the unverse on the back of a giant turtle
mgrasso> heavy, ironf.
Robert> See the buildings? Outside? They're in New York City.
BEMaven1> (raucous laughter throughout the Pentagon)
mgrasso> uh oh, he's going to get a visit from the mib's.
Mellie> that old guy.. reminds me of something.. but what? i need a ref spot!
mgrasso> um, wilhelm from seinfeld?
Pinwiz> Capt. Kangaroo?
Pinwiz> No, Mr. Hooper
Mellie> lol! yes! that's it! mr hooper.
mgrasso> ah, fresh 'frop.
Ironf> He doesn't look a thing like John Ritter.
Mellie> captain and tenille.. the early years.
mgrasso> and now, ladies and gents, hot seamen. yes, hot seamen sprayed all across your screen.
Trademark> o/~ Sailor's got a squeezebox, cap/n never sleeps at night! o/~
mgrasso> is this where he humps the lighthouse?
Ironf> We're about to delve into the private life of one dino, aren't we.
mgrasso> "hey baby, come here often?"
Mellie> and now we see the inspiration for "american pie."
mgrasso> that's not how you give a hickey!
Pinwiz> I don't remember this from HMS Pinnafore...
mgrasso> so much for marketing realdolls for dinosaurs.
mgrasso> "was it good for you?"
BEMaven1> monster: 'smoke?'
mgrasso> by the way, lee van cleef played the lighthouse.
Mellie> look at how he's flaunting those stripes!
mgrasso> meanwhile, at the opera, the soprano is an allosaurus.
thayer> meanwhile, in a different movie...
Cthulhu> So this is the Rockey Horror Picture Show.
mgrasso> backdrops by dali.
Mellie> the note said her neckline was indecent.
Ironf> He looks like he was asked to a concert and just found out that it was a woman that asked him and she was gonne be there with her parents or something
mgrasso> what the fuck was that?
mgrasso> an opera interlude?
thayer> no movie is complete without random ballet
Robert> mike: "culture."
mgrasso> and it served what narrative purpose?
Mellie> mike: "filler"
Trademark> The set dressers finished the offices in about twenty minutes, but being union they needed something else to do...
Mellie> "and you can see here, we just sail across this ten mile wide pond to india, where we get the spices.."
Cthulhu> But let's get back to those giant ants I keep talking about.
Robert> yeah yeah, blah blah, loss to science ... kill the freak.
BEMaven1> 'how do you propose to capture it?' --'i'll dress up as a sexy lighthouse.'
mgrasso> just use rodeo stars to capture it alive!
mgrasso> and feed it MIDGETS
Robert> Hey Mike ... I think the professor looks like a tall MIDGET.
mgrasso> maybe he'll be flailing from the dino's mouth at some point then.
Pinwiz> Peter Benchley's "Gila"
Robert> Prepare to dive into the blue screen.
Trademark> This is not a set! This is a real, grungy ship!
Cthulhu> Hear this... Cpl Klinger's fashion show will start in the swamp in 15 munutes.... that is all.
BEMaven1> that's pretty short for a lighthouse back there. does the Creature like them young?
mgrasso> he's meat.
Odie> It's made out of cardboard! Those fools!
Pinwiz> Gilligan forgot to tie it to the boat
thayer> 'heh heh. now we won't have to worry about anymore of their pesky 'science' talk'
Trademark> Now they can whip out the nude playing cards and get down to some serious gambling...
Ironf> Now to shrink him down and cover him in rotten meat from the sewer.
* Robert wonders how many times those same birds will fly by
Cthulhu> It's got a kitchen, a den, a game room, even a walk-in humidor.
Mellie> wait a minute.. that's a toilet part.. you guys! They're inside a toilet tank!
ReaperG> Kenny and Helen are hiding in there
mgrasso> oh, he's so dead.
Robert> This is not a thimble.
Robert> This is a bathyscope.
mgrasso> it's the thimble from my monopoly game!
mgrasso> robert! sheesh.
Robert> Sorry. :)
Cthulhu> Why does the bathesphere have the words S.S. Bait Shop stamped on the side. Funny name.
BEMaven1> 'we've just passed the dry layer with the wavy camera fx.'
mgrasso> oscar the grouch in a special episode of "jacques cousteau's undersea adventures."
ReaperG> They forgot the Oxygen Destroyer!
Ironf> Is this really the time to be listening to audiobooks doctor?
Robert> It's only been ten seconds and already he's bitching.
Pinwiz> You know, if they had a Mentos it would all be better.
mgrasso> thermos. because we can win the cold war... with thermos technology.
mgrasso> hah! stock footage from "bride of the monster"
Ironf> And we found that lost stock footage.
Robert> Sargassum ...
Robert> Coffee of deceit.
Cthulhu> Ahhhh yes... My friend the octopus... I LOVE YOU!
Cthulhu> ... and then... ATTACK!!!
Trademark> Please ignore the obvious scratches on the "ocean."
ReaperG> "Hi, we're here to dine on whatever pieces of you that the rhedosaurus doesn't eat"
mgrasso> anyone remember those rubber octopi you'd get in cereal boxes that would walk down walls?
thayer> yes, mike
mgrasso> they sucked.
Ironf> Wacky wall walkers.
ReaperG> Sushi Vs. Sushi\
Mellie> more like sushi vs aphrodisiac, reaper.
Robert> The epic battle between science and stock footage.
Cthulhu> Dagon! NO!!!!!
mgrasso> so, you've got stock footage AND rear projection.
BEMaven1> no, he ate the Rear Screen. he's huge!
mgrasso> i think i see lee van cleef!
mgrasso> is he that sailor back there?
Robert> No, professor, you're describing the effect. Describe the *beast*.
Mellie> and now they're a snack.
mgrasso> toldja.
BEMaven1> 'it's exactly as we pictured it. the dorsal fin is bilateral. and the lapels are medium width.'
thayer> well that takes care of all the "science"
Ironf> 'Fishin' with Lee and Friends'
Robert> The Canadian operator gets revenge.
Mellie> why are those monsters always hungry? eat, eat, eat.
mgrasso> love tha tpicture. he looks like he's getting a blowjob from below camera range.
mgrasso> dopey grin and all.
Mellie> mike!
mgrasso> don't even tell me it didn't look like he was being given oral favors.
Robert> He's got his leather coat on. *cues porn music*
Cthulhu> His funny little walk... his wonder smile... his 12 inches of rock hard manhood.
BEMaven1> and the pet names he gave his dinosaurs.
Robert> This film is just a prosmoking film in disguise.
Mellie> look out! it's a puppet!
mgrasso> never seen a teamster run like tht.
mgrasso> must be coffee break.
Pinwiz> They know it's Prince Spaghetti night
ReaperG> He broke up the "On the Waterfront" set
Odie> Pointing! At random things!
Cthulhu> OK... who let Devlin and Emmerich back into the city!
Ironf> NOT cardboard buildings.
Robert> We are running in New York City! For we are New Yorkers!
mgrasso> the bowery boys are a mid-afternoon snack for the beast.
BEMaven1> 'rrrrur... i want tuna... i want liver... i want chicken... please deliver...'
mgrasso> and shirley temple is rushed to safety.
Robert> On a very special episode of "Brooklyn Bridge."
Cthulhu> OK, who let the igauna out?
mgrasso> the giants win the pennant! the giants win the pennant! the giants win the pennant!
Odie> He's kinda cute.
Mellie> yeah.. in that "drags his crotch over ever stationary object" sort of way, odie
Odie> Aw, they still stop for traffic lights.
mgrasso> [RARR]
Odie> Woo!
Mellie> ha!
mgrasso> hah!
Pinwiz> Hey, he's not a midget
Robert> he wiggled his legs! AAAAH!!!
Cthulhu> Mmmmm the great taste of bacon.
ReaperG> Cool! Maybe he'll do that to Don Imus while he's there
BEMaven1> it would take four Chicago cops to die like that.
Pinwiz> And then, Sandra Bullock runs him over with her bus
Robert> When a prehistoric monster attacks, DUCK AND COVER!!!
ReaperG> "I'm female, actually. I want to take my top off for Howard Stern"
Cthulhu> OK Beast... time to put away your Hot Wheels cars.
mgrasso> they'd better have a whole paddywagon for him.
mgrasso> sorry. "irish-american"wagon
Cthulhu> You weapons have no effect on me!
Trademark> Oh, the SS comes in to save the city...
mgrasso> trade: that's giuliani's city.
Odie> Look... A Gift Shop.
Robert> The police are, frankly, unimpressed by the effect.
Pinwiz> This _is_ the Buffy finale!
mgrasso> there's a sale at penney's!
ReaperG> For the record, Eiji Tsuburaya wanted to do "Godzilla" in stop-motion, but it would've taken too long, so he went with rubber suits
Robert> Welcome to the third annual Men With Hats and Trenchcoats NYC Marathon!
Pinwiz> And then they run into the mob from King Kong, merge, and run smack into the War of the Worlds mob.
mgrasso> [RARR]
BEMaven1> when in New York once, i pointed at the air and ran. it started a stampede.
Mellie> air raid sirens! huzzah!
mgrasso> and now, 1920s stock footage.
Cthulhu> Oh... great.. now theres a nuclear war!
Trademark> Ah... finally we get the announcer shot.
Pinwiz> Wow. Love the two-tone wall design
Ironf> Wow they got Sinatra to make an announcment
mgrasso> porn merchants smuggle their precious cargo out of the city.
BEMaven1> Mounting Hysteria? is that like cats living with dogs?
Robert> People continue to wander around in the streets like morons.
Mellie> not war, but "WRR!"
Robert> Why does he have to look at the mike every two seconds?
Odie> And to prove the disastor, three empty streets.
mgrasso> harlem! well, they didn't bother with harlem.
ReaperG> This will be the greatest G-CON ever!
Pinwiz> Don't they _know_ where the beast is if they are on every intersection?
Mellie> even though the monster is huge.. still no idea where he could be.
Robert> Lincoln Logs are brought in!
Pinwiz> Harold Ramis, new to this season of ER
mgrasso> see that scene? lee van cleef? he played gurney #2.
BEMaven1> he's not a doctor. he just likes to walk by the beds and pull the sheets over the patients.
mgrasso> the monster that never sleeps for the city that never sleeps.
Ironf> Shoot it in the eye, it's real squishy right there.
Pinwiz> Wasn't this the highlight of the last Exoticon?
Mellie> that monster m oves like a puppy.
BEMaven1> "his skull is at least 3 inches thick." Mayor Koch?
Cthulhu> BAZOOKA JOE!!!! NO!
thayer> 'bazooka man! fire!'
ReaperG> I am Bazooka Man!
Robert> the other way! THE OTHER WAY!!!
Odie> I feel bad for the giant lizard puppy.
BEMaven1> good one. right in the T.
mgrasso> [EEERAAR]
* Mellie falls down laughing
Mellie> eeraar!
Cthulhu> They shorted out the movie... damn.
Ironf> Ahh THIS is what really caused the big blackout back during the summer of Sam.
mgrasso> 'twas USA warmongering that killed the beast.
Trademark> In between frames, you men put the radio fence collar on him!
mgrasso> "he was more of a stain, a green.... globule really."
BEMaven1> 'sargent! the Monster dropped his Strawberry Preserves.'
Mellie> cue the generic "sneak-up" music.
BEMaven1> that's a real creepy parade they've got going.
mgrasso> well, dipping him in the east river will kill him immediately.
BEMaven1> it's the Bowery. there's an instinctive urge for men to squat on doorsteps.
Odie> This movie could be helped so much if all the actors would just die.
mgrasso> major robert vaughn.
Robert> And a cameo from Lloyd Bridges.
Pinwiz> *crsk*You sunk my battleship *crsk*
Mellie> maybe we'll be lucky and the monster will eat them all, then die of indigestion.
Odie> I kinda am rooting for the scaley dog.
Robert> yes, reptiles and mammals share so many diseases.
Cthulhu> The worlds larget case of samenilla.
ReaperG> Dino's got cooties! Dino's got cooties
Trademark> The hepatitis outbreak heard round the world...
BEMaven1> whoa. he gave her his beret. they're an item.
Robert> Again with The Radioactive Isotope.
Odie> Sodium. It worked last time.
Robert> just pick one. Whatever you have lying around.
mgrasso> this movie brought to you by the atom.
Cthulhu> There is nothing we can't irradiate in the 1950s!
mgrasso> "is there time to play skee-ball, sarge?"
thayer> the dino's just lookin for a little fun
Odie> Aw, look! He just want to go to the fair!
BEMaven1> 'drop that cotton candy and get yer rifles.
Robert> Maybe they shouldn't be standing behind the bazooka?
Trademark> That's it! Charge the monster $200 dollars to ride the coaster. He'll run out of money and go home...
Cthulhu> Ride the Beast of 20,000 Fathoms at Six Flags Great America!
Mellie> mm.. riding the beast
Odie> Two guys are called in to take care of the giant monster.
Pinwiz> Wow, people are losing teeth all over the place
Ironf> All they have to do is give him a giant asprin and he'll shrink down to normal size.
Mellie> can't they just feed him alice's mushroom?
Robert> I love how the movie is all scientific until the monster attacks NYC. Then it's kill, kill, kill.
mgrasso> lee van cleef!
mgrasso> finally!
Mellie> where?
Mellie> the rollercoaster?
mgrasso> he's the marksman.
mgrasso> that rat-like demeanor.
mgrasso> that sallow, cold stare.
thayer> he picks his teeth with a rifle? that can't be healthy
Robert> They're going to *fire* a radioactive isotope.
mgrasso> it's in handy bullet form, robert.
Robert> All he wants is a hot dog.
Odie> Why's everything all wet? Did it rain?
mgrasso> odie: marking his territory.
mgrasso> all of coney island got a golden shower.
Ironf> Master Ninja's Wild Ride.
Mellie> we spell "van cleef" differently in east new york.
ReaperG> OK, we found Lee Van Cleef, but where was Steve Brodie?
Robert> They're bringing out the Pentium IIIs.
mgrasso> WHAT'S IN THE FUCKING BOX??
Cthulhu> Start Sirgeo Leon "show down" music and closes up of sweaty T-zones.
BEMaven1> all tech sargents are trained in the use of carny rides.
Ironf> It's Klan night at the fair!
Robert> And they say the Klan doesn't do anything worthwhile ...
mgrasso> this is how the CIA trained oswald.
mgrasso> "if you can hit a dinosaur from a moving roller coaster car with a radioactive isotope wearing a lead suit, you can hit kennedy."
Odie> Noooooo!
* Odie weeps
mgrasso> and now, death throes.
Ironf> Rollercoaster, of love.
BEMaven1> 'you stay here and shoot the monster. i'll check out the Whirling Cups.'
Pinwiz> get your tickets here get your tickets here
BEMaven1> keep your isotope inside the car at all times.
Odie> God. It's so wrong. So wrong. Where's PETA?
Robert> and the coaster laps itself.
Pinwiz> and so, the boardgame mosetrap is invented
mgrasso> coney island in flames, dino destroyed, and the giants lose. news at 11.
Odie> Oh, great. And burn down Coney Island while you're at it.
BEMaven1> flammable gasoline next to the wooden structure. it's Coney Island all right.
Cthulhu> Take your time... no rush.
Pinwiz> It's the big one!!!! Gwangi, I'm coming for 'ya!!!
Cthulhu> It's giant lizard steak night at the Sizzler!
Ironf> Someone get Doug McKenzie STAT!
mgrasso> you know, the monster was nominated for best actor because of this death scene. turned out he was a commie, and he got blacklisted.
mgrasso> sad, really. elia kazan turned him in.
Odie> TO the sea! Run to the sea, you twit!
BEMaven1> wooo! he just did a blue flamer.
Robert> look, a barrel that hasn't exploded yet.
BEMaven1> too bad the film's B&W.
mgrasso> too bad the film's.
Trademark> I'd walk a mile for a flaming roller coaster,
mgrasso> we killed it. god bless america.
Robert> The monster is hot pink.
Mellie> what spectacular death throes.
Odie> I hate all these poeple.
Odie> I wanted Scaley to win.
ReaperG> I always fight monsters in a jumpsuit and tie, too
Cthulhu> That was dinosaur for FRRRRRRREEEEEEDDDOOOOMMMMM!
BEMaven1> i liked my idea better. lure him to the Brooklyn Bridge with a cab.
Rolaid> Okay, I'm ready for the movie!
Rolaid> Wait
Pinwiz> That's it??? What about Coney Island's brave struggle to recover?
Odie> Yeah, real fun story.
Rolaid> Did I miss anything??
Mellie> ray bradbury! that's whom we must blame!!
Pinwiz> Ray: "You know, this script SUCKS!!!'
* Mellie digs up ray and burns him
Rolaid> Digs up Ray?
Mellie> unless he's not dead. but i bet he is.
Rolaid> Hey! I met Ray Bradbury!!
Cthulhu> I think he's still with us.
Mellie> someone bury him! i want to dig him up and hurt him.
Odie> And whack him for me for The Martian Chronicles, mel.
mgrasso> mellie would do horribly at a game of "dead, alive, or indian food."
Robert> "The film grossed five million." Oh, Bob, we know.
thayer> rol, he wasn't the only one
Pinwiz> Wow... that sucked
ReaperG> Well, *I* liked it
Odie> If I ever write anything decent, I'm never signing it over for movie material. You're going to have to wait until I'm dead to rip me off, suckers!
Pinwiz> Buy my screenplay!!! SUCKERS!!!!!!
ReaperG> Like there's anything wrong with giant prehistoric monsters trashing major cities. Really
Pinwiz> I'm waiting for Gwangi: The E! Tru Hollywood Story
Trademark> Geez... no more homegames on AMC. No breaks for bathroom...
