STARVING ARTISTS
Plum> "This is not science fiction. This is science fact. The story you are about to see could happen . . . TOMORROW!"mgrasso> i love the title too. it's like they used one of those "refrigerator poetry" sets. "legion of fire: killer ants."
Ironf> Umm is this a bug hunt, man?
Plum> This is actually an X-Files movie, kinda like those made-for-tv Ewok things.
mgrasso> he's got that peter gallgher elan.
mgrasso> jeff goldblum's non-union mexican counterpart.
BEMaven> They stepped on quite a few ants. Think it will rain?
Plum> Kevin Costner IS Mark Harmon in Summer School 3: Arachnogigantica!
mgrasso> oh i see. he's wormy, but he's a stud.
mgrasso> no, wait, he's definitely wormy. in a california sort of way.
Plum> Let's be careful out there!
mgrasso> coleman francis international airport.
mgrasso> so, does pileggi play the king of the ant kingdom?
mgrasso> they brought a shotgun. ON A FISHING TRIP?
Ironf> redneck fishing Grasso
mgrasso> jack london's call of the x-files
BEMaven> I'm waiting for Sheryl Fenn in plastic.
Plum> Moose, moose, moose. What is moose?
mgrasso> skinner sign!
Plum> Poor Mitch.
BEMaven> Jean-Luc Picard of the RCMP.Plum> Maybe we'll be treated to ancient Indian wisdom about fire ants later.
mgrasso> you know, you can pick your nose, and you can pick your skeletons, but you can't pick your skeleton's nose
BEMaven> This is the world's longest Taster's Choice commercial.
mgrasso> wow. so... he's wormy, smug, square-jawed, and femmy.
Plum> There's a Red Meat cartoon on the wall!
mgrasso> it's "bob" dobbs!
Plum> These aren't your large ants, the kind a fellow like me would take for a wife.
BEMaven> A composite sketch of the suspect.
BEMaven> So the ants think they're in Brazil.
BEMaven> He died as he lived...for no particular reason.
mgrasso> you know, between the CGI ants and limbs and the earthquakes, this movie went over 5,000 dollars for their fx budget
BEMaven> Don't forget all the dirt they had to buy.
mgrasso> is it me, or does that deputy look a lot like mark mothersbaugh?
BEMaven> which one gets to stand on the mound now?
Ironf> Fire down it a couple of times with that shotgun oughta do it
Ironf> Is Mitch the 'Burly' of Burly Pines?
BEMaven> What's the bounty on a dirt mound?
BEMaven> Shoot the ants in the antenna. They're helpless without them.
Plumm> I love the smell of montage in the morning.
BEMaven> Does he know his bullhorn is broken?
Plumm> grass, pile on those montage riffs.
mgrasso> you will believe a chicken can be dragged by its talons
mgrasso> his bullhorn emits a lightrock station
Plumm> "The Streetbeater" is its name, I believe.Colorbot> Burly Pines looks like a nice place to get a beer
BEMaven> Did they write this story on the back of a postcard?
Ironf> Umm did he just get off quick?
Plumm> Next time, Gadget. NEXT TIME!
mgrasso> i love how all the CGI ants are identical
Colorbot> Cool, peddle powered copter!
Plumm> US Marines Italian training mission.
BEMaven> Well, at least he got off quick.
BEMaven> And the ants do the wave.
Plumm> Aren't most helicopter pilots able to land when there's like two ants on their face?
mgrasso> why are the ants 6 inches long when they're on his face, anyway?
Plumm> So, this McGinleyesque Caroline in the City guy is like the poor retarded man's Leningen, is that it?
Colorbot> If they only had some melted chocolate they could make a fortune in france!
Bice> Over the hill, Indy is holding off snakes with a torch
Plumm> Jeez, who busted an Etch-a-Sketch on this print, anyway?
Ironf> Always like a woman to bring a shotgun to a flame-thrower fight
mgrasso> now all we need is that big ball from the prisoner to show up.
dungarees> This is the movie? The backdropsare less realistic than a douche commercial.
Plumm> These two are on the tampon wrangler triathalon.
dungarees> Filmed on location at the Silver Dollar City Baldknobbers ride.
Ironf> Pants, please don't talk about mitch's bald knob. he doesn't like that
mgrasso> martin tupper and rose mcgowan in.. deliverance 2: cruise control
BEMaven> Bet she's sorry she shot all those logs.
mgrasso> just what i wanted to see. wormy wrapped lovingly around a smooth log.
dungarees> Mmmm....mitchy goodness.
BEMaven> Dad, I led someone else to the killer mound. Is that okay?
dungarees> So they managed to get hung over while running away from ants via boat?
mgrasso> we now return to "lost treasure of dos..." i mean, "empire of killer the ants attack fire right yes hello."
dungarees> Murdoch's dead? Has someone told B.A.?
Ironf> Ahahah did you see the CGI reset?
dungarees> A game of Duck, Duck, Goose turns deadly.
Ironf> Manard's is having a closing sell tomorrow due to death of it's founder.
BEMaven> Now where will they find another town idiotdungarees> Little National Disaster on the Prairie
Colorbot> Where's the Dukes of Hazzard when you need them?
mgrasso> "it's my baby rider!"
dungarees> Are they riding a lawn edger?
BEMaven> Only training wheels can save them now.
Ironf> Good thing he spent that 6 months at the Shriners Training Facility
Plumm> Uh-oh. She better turn into this guy's black daughter who's into gymnastics so she can kick the ants! It's their only hope!
Ironf> I can't stop my leg!
Plumm> that's odd, seing as you landed on your back.
dungarees> No one will remain seated during the three-legged race scene.
BEMaven> Did all the intelligent people evacuate early?
mgrasso> i really hope mitch is wearing underwear, 'cause from this view...*shiver*
dungarees> Did someone actually think that the ant's eye view cam was clever and a good idea?
BEMaven> They'll snuff 'em with orange crush.
dungarees> he's testing his Swedish penis pump at a rather inopportune time.
Plumm> I'm taking a goddam leak!
Plumm> And I will NOT "open up my tailgate" to "take your flagpole"!
Bice> Hurry, the stormtroopers almost have the door open...
Colorbot> I didn't think George of the Jungle 2 was signed yet
Plumm> The ants forcefed the kid roofies.
dungarees> I have no idea why Mitch did that,but I respect him all the more for it.
Bice> Driving wildly is the best way to rid yourself of insects.
dungarees> If Mitch backed up over someone - for example, the boy in the plastic bus - it might make ita ll worthwhile
BEMaven> They always drive like that in alaska.
Plumm> HOney, we're nearly out of crack. Pull in to that Amish village.
BEMaven> the fact the kid's still alive defies the laws of evolution.
dungarees> Girly Pines?dungarees> Did he Really say Girly Pines?
Ironf> Burly Pines, Dung
dungarees> I like Girly Pines better.
Ironf> And we decieded that Mitch was the Burly in Burly pines
dungarees> Mitch IS Burly...yum.
mgrasso> oh no! not anchorage! will they get on a plane there and vector all over the planet?
Plumm> yes! Hexagonal wrenches! Boogie!
dungarees> Why can I NEVER find my Torx T-6 when I need it? Why can't we have nice things?
* Plumm always laughs at a "Why can't we have nice things?!" joke.
Bice> I think their commercial placements shows that they think we care more about these characters than we really do. Diagram that sentence.
BEMaven> This film is just blows. Someone run out and get me a life.
Plumm> How can that kid afford those infrared binoculars?
BEMaven> They're trolling for ants with the wormy guy.
Bice> What we need now is a little old fashion rock climbing.
Bice> Yeah, we really need smart-ass one-liners delivered to ants.
Ironf> I'm Cherokee Ant!
Plumm> When Loads Lose Their Footing!
Colorbot> I'll give him a 6
dungarees> Oh to see him julienned by that chopper...
BEMaven> That creepy kid will never make it in Barlett's Quotations.
Plumm> Want to know the secrets of the Inuit Ant Mound Explosions? Read the book.Ironf> Mitch will now allow the masked pilot to reveal just how that copter was really flown
dungarees> Nice lavender plaid, manly man, it goes well with her electric mulberry hair.
BEMaven> They could play "how not to be seen".
BEMaven> Did he ever take off the groin harness?
Bice> So, we never find out if the ants died. And the door is left open for a sequel. AAARRRGGGHHH!
Colorbot> The new Love Boat has some competition now
