HANNIBLE HOGAN 
mgrasso> good lord.
mgrasso> hulkster looks like lance with hairplugs.
Pinwiz> Shannon "Breasts" Tweed
mgrasso> assault on cheap CGI mountain.
BryanL> Hulk's got his Sonny Chiba Sittin' There mojo working.
Ironf> I did not know that Hulk was a psychic warrior for the military
mgrasso> vancouver. or LA. your choice.
BryanL> Titboxing!
BryanL> Tae-Bo: Assault On Flab Mountain
Pinwiz> Shannon Tweed vs. Dolly Parton is the a steel cage fight to the death!
Ironf> It's the Hulkamaniacs 2000
Pinwiz> So we've got the built white guy, the built black guy, the woman, and the gay AV geek?
Ironf> basically.
Ironf> Is Weathers suppossed to be 'preppy'
BryanL> Did Devil's Island actually end with characters like this in a situation like this, or is it just a spiritual sequel?
Pinwiz> Little dd you know that the AV guy is a master of disguise. He's dressed up as Shannon
BryanL> You know what, guys? This is just the establishing mission.
BryanL> We've got a whole other episode... er, movie after this is over.
BEMaven> a women walks right in and claims she's the mother and they immediately believe her. okay.
Ironf> You know, for her age, Tweed still looks pretty good. Everyone knows she's 85, right?
KevinL> I love it when a Made-for-TNT movie comes together.
Ironf> She has to go check her air pressure, ifyaknow what I mean
mgrasso> not only are they the size of basketballs, they have the texture of basketballs too.
Ironf> Someone please remind me to check who was the Hogan Hairpiece Wrangler.
MFlavin> Hulk Hogan IS the homeless Fabio in "Assault on Death Mountain"
mgrasso> faith ford and jane fonda in a battle to the death!
BryanL> I think it's a sequel like Fierce Creatures was a sequel to Fish Called Wanda.
Plumm> So I have no TNT, in either room. Crap.
Ironf> Plumm, I hear Vinny Mac has messed with all the cable up there so you can't watch
Pinwiz> YOu see, this _is_ the X-files... remeber when Mulder rides on the lift to stop Krycheck?
Ironf> Hogan bows to no one, not even leverage.
KevinL> They did a nice job of reattaching Carl's arm, don't you think?
Ironf> Go go Hogan rangers!
BryanL> Oh, gyp! They've got a limo instead of a tricked-out supervan!
Ironf> See Hogan, that's the price you pay for rubbing your body with butter and taning on the roof like Kramer. You get slick.
KevinL> Man, they Assaulted the living shit out of Death Mountain. Now what are they gonna do for the next 90 minutes.
BryanL> Hey, they've got their group dynamic going. One of 'em calls the other one "boss", and the other one doesn't like it.
KevinL> I'm black, I'm supposed to call you "boss". You're supposed to call me "boy". Didn't you see The Phantom Menace?
Ironf> Now it's crossed with Millennium and Hogan has powers like LANCE
BryanL> Psychic ability is linked directly to the cragginess of your face.
Ironf> Hogan "grew" some hair.
MFlavin> Their hq is in a high school gym, apparently
KevinL>
Hulk flashback voice-over> Me and my men were having a barbecue. As a joke, I threw a lead-acid battery into the fire. I didn't know! I never read the label! Anyway, I managed to get my mask on in time...
BryanL> Shannon's heard THIS music before.
Ironf> He's a budget Gary Busey
BryanL> He's the computer generated creation they made from Busey's brain after his motorcycle accident.
mgrasso> hulk ain't got time to bleed.
BEMaven> i could see Hogan as a Camp Counselor.
mgrasso> you know, i heard the first-person arcade shooter for this movie went straight to the lucrative "outside gas station" market
KevinL> Assault on Death Mountain: Hacksaw Jim Duggan's Revenge.
Ironf> Hacksaw beat cancer ya know.
KevinL> Yeah, Iron, but he lost to Capricorn.
Ironf> Well it's the back tail fin. In most matches that's an illegal move.
Ironf> Ahhh I get it now. That guy's the Equalizer and he's just getting rid of Hogan's A Team so he has more of the market to himself.
BEMaven> wait a minute. the world's most wanted terrorist...hidden for years by plastic surgery...and they find him in one jump cut?
Ironf> BTW the big guy is Reese, who wrestles in WCW too.
BEMaven> what a brilliant ploy. NORAD won't be expecting a missile fired from the general direction of Russia.
Ironf> So, now it's Mortal Kombat with a Tweed-Sonya and a Weathers-Jax
BryanL> His blood's one big steroid.
KevinL> Is that a giant molar around his neck? What'd he do, take it off a Cavity Creep that he whacked in NAM?
Ironf> Maybe it's a sharks tooth left over from Thunder in Paradise.
BryanL> Stupid emotional chick. Who let the femme in the super sekrit club again?
Ironf> Will she give him one last going away hump?
Ironf> 'Hi, yeah this legit acting sucks. I wanna do soft core again cause it's easier'
BEMaven> what are the odds this location was used in X-files?
Ironf> Any bets on a John Henry joke once in the mine?
BryanL> It's right next door to the cave where David Hasslehoff tried to steal Michael Gross's diamonds.
Ironf> go go power hulk!
KevinL> Is there any kind of tactical sense in planting an explosive on -top- of something?
KevinL> It's Dave Dederer. There gonna distract him by placing a kitty at his feet. He'll want to touch it.
MFlavin> basically, they ripped off X-Files, A-Team, F-Troop, and any other show that starts with a letter and a hyphen
BEMaven> great idea. let the summer intern handle the delicate bio weapon.
BryanL> Rocket warhead courtesy Cartoon Network.
BryanL> It ain't a Hogan movie without at least one bodyslam.
mgrasso> you know, hulk did shannon's stunts. and they were cunning stunts, too.
Ironf> Wow who knew she could kick her legs up so high around her head
thayer> and hulk knows how to disable a nuclear weapon now?
KevinL> What the fuck is in the fuckin' box!?
Ironf> He's got a Tim Curry vibe almost.
mgrasso> you know, looking at how blue he is, i'd say he just ate some of wonka's gum.
Ironf> Gulf War syndrome is like a volcano inside you.
Ironf> Number of shots fired-30,000 Number of shots hit-6
BryanL> You know the great thing about this movie? It's persistence. It continues to be on, despite serving no purpose whatsoever for the last hour and 45 minutes.
KevinL> Plumm should be on his knees thanking beautiful Christ that he can't see this movie.
thayer> all i could think whenever they showed the blond chick was 'when did i start watching la femme nikita?'
mgrasso> action jackson *is* slim pickens *in* dr. strangehulk.
BEMaven> he's infected with Fruit Roll-Ups?
BryanL> Finally, some GPS.
mgrasso> hulkster exec produced!
thayer> "hulk" hogan stylist...did not show up for the making of this production
